Author: rodarters

I want to die…

rodarters

When I read the Bible, I can’t help but wonder certain silly questions like,

  • “Did Adam have a belly button?
  • Did the serpent speak with a lisp?
  • Was Boaz built like Fabio?

I get these certain images in my mind of what the person or event looked like and wonder how close I am to the truth.   I read about some of the amazing events that occurred (parting of the Red Sea, fall of Jericho, etc) and wonder what it must have been like to actually have been there.

I read the stories that involve legendary men like Elijah, Jonah, Job, David or Paul and marvel at what occurred in their lives.  The truth is, they probably didn’t think they were very legendary at the time.  They were just ordinary men who did extraordinary things when their lives were yielded to a miracle making God.

What would it have been like to be the Prophet Elijah?   The miracles God performed through him were truly remarkable.  He caused the rain to cease for 3 1/2 years simply by praying (1 Kings 17:1).  He resurrected the widow’s son from the dead (1 Kings 17:22).  He called fire from heaven on the altar and then  slayed 850 prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18:38).  He parted the Jordan River (II Kings 2:8).  So significant was his impact on earth that his assistant’s (Elisha) only request was that when Elijah died, he be given a double portion of his spirit (II Kings 2:10).

What would it have been like to be the Prophet Jonah? Though he was initially disobedient and rebellious, the book that bears his name ends with Jonah leading the largest revival ever recorded in the history of the world.  (Interestingly, the city that Jonah was called to preach to was named Ninevah, today known as Mosul – located in modern-day Iraq.)  If a preacher today could preach one sermon and convert an entire city (over 120,000 people) – he would be on the cover of Time magazine and interviewed on every major network – not to mention immediately become the Pastor of the world’s largest church.   That was the accomplishment of this reluctant evangelist.

What would it have been like to be Job? The greatest man in all the East. Wealth, beyond imagination. His whole life was just one giant blessing – from his business to his family to his walk with God. So pure was Job’s heart that God was led to showcase His “blameless and upright” servant before an exclusive heavenly audience. If he were a businessman today, Job would be a CEO for a Fortune 500 company and at the top of the “World’s richest man” list.  Financially, he was the Bill Gates of the Bible.

What would it have been like to be King David? A shepherd boy turned king. The youngest in his family and the ruler of God’s chosen race.  A poet, a musician, a writer, a warrior. A man who killed a lion & bear with his bare hands. A man whom God used to save his nation from imminent slavery.  Without David’s pen, we would not have most of the book of Psalms.  Though his life was beset with many sins, he was undoubtedly blessed by God and would be forever known as Israel’s greatest king.

What would it have been like to be the Apostle Paul? One week he is killing Christians. The next week he is one of Christ’s most devoted followers. Even while in prison, he had an audience with the kings of the culture, Governors like Felix & Festus. Because of God’s writings through Paul, we have 13 books of the New Testament. A church planter, discipler and pastor – we owe much of Christianity’s impact in the first century (and beyond) to this one man.

What do these men all have in common?  For starters, they all were considered righteous.  They all were (eventually) enormously successful.  They all were used by God in mighty ways.  They all made a significant impact upon their culture.  But there was one more attribute they all had in common.

Surprisingly, they all, at one point, wanted to die.

  • Fear of Jezebel caused Elijah to desire death after his amazing victory over the prophets of Baal.
  • Job wanted to die after experiencing unimaginable loss – even regretting the day of his birth.
  • Jonah would rather die than see an enemy people enter the family of God.
  • David often despaired of his life when chased by his enemies, as recorded in the Psalms.
  • Paul wanted to die while being persecuted in chains (Philippians 1:21-23).

You expect losers to want to die.  You expect quitters to want to end their life.  You expect people whose lives don’t amount to much to desire the next life.  But not Christians!  Not successful people.  Not people who have been used by God.  Especially not legendary men of the Bible!

Yes, sometimes even Christians struggle with depression.  Sometimes even successful people want to end their lives.  Even the legendary men of the Bible wanted to quit at times.

Have you ever felt like dying?  Ever want to call it quits?  I have – many times, even recently.  As recent as tonight.  Like Job, I have experienced painful loss.  Like Paul, I have been persecuted by enemies.  Like David, I have seen the devastating effects of my sins.  Even tonight, I feel crushed by the weight of my past.  Like Jonah, I have wrestled with not wanting to do what God called me to do.  I have desired, many a time, to just be gone from this hurting planet.   “Why am I stuck in traffic“, I think, “when I could be on streets of gold?”

The older I get, the less I want to be here.  The more time I spend on earth, the stronger my desire is for Heaven.

I’m not alone.  I have many friends who are, right now, struggling with enormous daily problems; financial, emotional, relational, physical.   It seems everywhere I turn, people are hurting.  There are times when life is just overwhelming and the easy answer is to end it all.

But we keep going.  We put on a smile at breakfast even as we attempt to help little ones rise from the dead (aka sleep).  Killing a bear would be easier than helping a child get ready for school.  We get dressed every day in spite of the Goliath waiting for us at work.  We can barely part the laundry let alone think about parting the Red Sea.  We try to do what God calls us to do, in spite of the physical or emotional pain.   Some days, just getting out of bed is an accomplishment.

In a lot of ways, whether you know it or not, you are in good company.  Men like Elijah and David and Jonah relate to your struggle.  They too, wanted to quit but didn’t.

Here is the good news.  Your story isn’t over yet.  There is still time on the clock.  The last chapter has not been written and the movie credits have not scrolled up.  Today may be hard but God is not unaware of your struggle.  The miracles of the Bible are still available today.  The only difference between you and the Prophet Elijah is time.  The same God that helped David kill the lion and the bear is the same God that helps you pay your bills and drive your kids to soccer practice.  Your tasks may seem different, but the lesson is still the same.

TRUST.

Granted, you may have some big problems to address.  I know I do.  But you also have a BIG GOD at your side.   David did not look at Goliath and think “He is too big, I’ll never hit him.”  Because of God, David looked at Goliath and thought, “He is so big, I can’t miss.”  David didn’t kill Goliath because of “five smooth stones.”  David killed Goliath because He trusted a God who could aim.   God still aims today.   And He uses what is in our hand to do it.

Today, as you go out into battle – trust that you are not alone.  Trust that there is a God “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20)

HIS power.

At work.

Within us.

Are you accessing that power?   Ask Him for it.

Paul did.  David did.  Jonah did.  Job did.  Elijah did.

So can I.   Yea, even me.

So can you.  Yea, even you.

Hey GLAAD, “Lighten up, don’t pucker up!”

rodarters

It is no secret that men and women are very different, in almost every way.   From what I have heard, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.   My personal experience with that gender confirms that they are from a different planet.  But women aside, I find myself trying to understand different segments of society as well.  Like the Real Housewives of anywhere.   Are they for real?  I don’t understand them or the people who watch them.

In my search for understanding, I have personally met with men from the local Mosque to try to comprehend the Muslim mind and Islam religion.  I have sat down with atheists in an attempt to understand their world without God.  I enjoy conversing with those from an opposing political party, hoping to understand what makes them “tick.”  I constantly ask friends and co-workers a barrage of questions about words they have said or actions they have done, in an attempt to understand why they do or say what they do.

It is in that spirit that I write this particular blog post.  As St. Francis of Assisi once wrote, “Seek first to understand.  Then be understood.”    Those words have guided me for years and I really aim to build bridges with those I disagree with, even when I disagree with them strongly.  Having said that, I really want to better understand and relate to the gay & lesbian community’s outrage and how they must feel this week in regards to all the Chick-Fil-A talk.

Honestly, the folks in the gay & lesbian communities are a mystery to  me – not just in their private lifestyle choice but in their public agenda with it.  I can accept a lifestyle I don’t agree with it just like I can accept a religion I do not agree with.  If you want to bow to your particular god behind closed doors – fine.  I accept that.  I can respect Islam so long as I don’t have to pay homage to Allah.   I can accept the alternative lifestyle too, so long as I don’t have to bow to the gay god.  But why all the anger when someone defends the traditional marriage as between one man and one woman?   What is so wrong with the heterosexual union?  If I’m not mistaken, you wouldn’t be here without it.

By now you have probably heard of the Chick-Fil-A boycott being planned by members of the gay & lesbian community.  From what I can tell, G.L.A.A.D. (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) is supporting the movement.   Chick-Fil-A  C.E.O., Dan Cathy was quoted in the Baptist Press (July 16) saying he was “guilty as charged” for supporting “the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.”  He has been quoted as saying in another publication, “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.”   It has also been reported that Chick-Fil-A has donated over $2 million dollars to anti-gay groups.

Granted, not every gay and lesbian person may be planning on participating in the boycott nor may even agree with it.   However, GLAAD’s intention and actions do seem to represent the majority of those in that camp.  It should be noted that it is not their boycott that bothers me.  What bothers me is their organization of the “National same sex kiss day” on August 3rd in Chick-Fil-A stores nationwide.  With that background in motion, I am imploring the gay & lesbian community to “Lighten up!” and help enlighten me.

I realize that by saying this and publishing this post, I am kicking the entire bee hive because of a few vocal bees.  I fully expect to be stung as everyone normally is who dares to speak up in disagreement to their movement.  For those that are gay but do not agree with their overall group’s decision or actions, I apologize for lumping you in there with them.  Perhaps you need to be more vocal as well, so we can hear another viewpoint from someone in that camp?

Here are a few reasons why “they” (or you) need to lighten up in regards to Mr. Cathy’s expressed beliefs.

  • As a Christian, Mr. Cathy believes that God’s original plan for marriage was one man and one woman.  Whether you agree with Mr. Cathy or not, you have to admit that he is right about God’s original plan – one man with one woman.   After all, in the “perfect” environment (The Garden of Eden), God created Adam and Eve.  Had God created Adam and “Steve”, the human family would never have been able to continue past the first generation.   Whether you agree with him or not, he is still entitled to his beliefs and he is entitled to share them when asked by the Baptist Press.  Our First amendment rights make that clear.  In like fashion, you are entitled to your beliefs and you are allowed to share them.  I don’t have to tell you this.  You know your constitutional rights better than anyone.  You get on your soapbox often and shout your beliefs to everyone whether they want to hear it or not.
  • Chick-Fil-A is a privately held company.  This restaurant is not a political organization.  They are not publicly traded on the Stock Market.  They are not government supported, run or led.  They are not even a church or Christian organization.  They are a privately held restaurant whose owner happens to be an outspoken Christian.   Chick-Fil-A is famously closed on Sundays.  Why?  Because its christian leadership is trying to follow their personal conviction (and 4th Commandment!) that Sunday is the Lord’s Day and a day of rest.  The point is – unlike most other companies out there, they march to the beat of a different Drummer.   You don’t have to like it.  When you create the greatest chicken sandwich on the planet and turn it into a billion dollar business, you can make your own rules too.
  • They have not and do not discriminate against the gay & lesbian community from eating there.  I am sure you can find some example where a gay or lesbian person was denied from working there.  It’s an isolated incident.  I have been in over 20 Chick-Fil-A restaurants across the country and none have ever treated me with anything less than respect and dignity.  They didn’t know or ask or care what my sexual preference or background is.  They just wanted to know if I wanted “waffle fries with that order.”
  • If you feel so strong about this – then go ahead and boycott the company.   Follow in the steps of Ed Helms (actor from the Office) and refuse to eat there anymore.  I promise you, it will not silence the CEO, change the company’s view or affect their bottom line.  If they can THRIVE in this economy against STEEP competition WHILE being CLOSED ON SUNDAYS, I doubt your few missing dollars will have any impact.  Besides, they are not doing anything wrong.  They are just not bowing to your particular preference.
  • The owners of Chick-Fil-A may think being gay is wrong, so what?  They believe that God intended marriage to be between a man and a woman.  So what?  Chick-Fil-A will still give you a job.  They will still serve you in their restaurant.  They will even let you wear whatever pro-gay shirt you want in their store.  As long as it does not stop you from your constitutional right of eating their delicious chicken sandwich, what do you care what they believe or preach?
  • Aren’t you the group that proclaims everyone should be tolerant?  How come it seems like you don’t practice what you preach?  Apparently Christians are not the only hypocrites in the room.

One last thing, the “National same-sex kissing day” stunt you boast about doing is wrong and distasteful.   Just as you probably wouldn’t want Mr. Cathy to flaunt his anti-gay beliefs to you inside your place of business, you shouldn’t do the same in his.  Even if you pull it off, so what?  What do you prove?  That you can kiss in public?   Or does it merely prove you DO have an agenda you are trying to put “in their face?”  To be consistent, do you boycott every store who disagrees with you?  Do you feel the need to kiss in every store that has an outspoken CEO against your cause?   If not, why not?   Your answer would be telling.

I’m sorry that you have a hard time fitting in to our straight culture.  It’s really not so straight anymore, you should be pleased.  I’m sorry that it’s taken years to pass the laws to protect you and keep you safe.   I’m sorry that you feel judged all the time.  You deserve to be loved and accepted and protected like anyone else.   But just as you are allowed your beliefs and practices, Chick-Fil-A and its owners are allowed theirs as well.

Just for the sake of clarity so no one has to wonder “where I am coming from.”  I am straight but have several good friends & family who are gay.  Their being gay does not affect my thoughts towards them or my love towards them.   Though I may not agree with their choice, it does not mean I would ever stop being their friend/family because of it.  If one can only be friends with someone who lives right all the time, I’d have no friends.

Though I am not interested in getting into a debate about whether the alternate lifestyle is right or wrong, I would be open to polite, mature, civil comments on why the G & L community might disagree with this post.   Yelling and name calling and belittling of opinion doesn’t help either side gain understanding.  Hostile or mean comments will probably be deleted.  To be fair, I won’t tolerate abuse from the other side either.  However, if there is an intelligent, articulate, reasonable opinion on why the “National Same sex kissing day” is an appropriate response to Dan Cathy’s remarks, I’d love to hear it.

In the meantime, “Lighten up!”

My precious regrets

rodarters

Like most people, I have some regrets in life.  I regret not doing better in school.  I regret not reading more as a child.  I regret not reading more as an adult.  I regret every lie I have ever told.  I regret not telling certain people I loved them before they died.  I regret not spending more time with my grandparents.  I regret the times I have lost my temper.  I regret the times I have lived like a hypocrite.  The list goes on and on.  If you’re honest, you have your own list too.

For whatever reason, most of us have to learn the hard way.  We have to get hurt before we really pay attention.  We have to lose something before we truly appreciate what we lost.   Too often we have to fall before we can really rise.  Life is an effective teacher and sometimes it teaches some unforgiving, painful lessons.  Often times, we fail the test and end up in after-school detention. 

As I look back at my pile of regrets, it’s easy to let depression sink in.  It’s easy to allow negative, self-destructive thoughts to get comfortable in my mind.  They like to stretch out their legs, lay on my mental couch, eat a bag of shameful cheetos and talk trash all day long.  They enjoy playing back the tape recording of my words.  They love to insert the DVD of my actions.  They joyfully point to the ticking clock of all the opportunities that I missed.  And they know how to pour on the guilt, even better than your Mother.

There are three main problems with their constant verbal assaults.  First, they are all true.  Every one they mention actually happened on my watch.  Second, they are all in the past, a place I can never change.  Third and most troubling, I listen to them.  They are as familiar to me as any favorite song on the radio.  Except the lyrics are poison to my soul.  As the landlord of my mind, I need to evict the tenant of regret.  Instead, I often refill his drink as I turn up the volume of his accusations. 

When I think about each remembered item in the pile, regret is the natural reaction.  I would love an opportunity for a “do-over”, a second chance, the ability to “replay the down.”  Who wouldn’t?  If only we could take back that sentence.  If only we could undo that action.  If only we could have changed that decision, we’d have one less regret in the pile.  As we know all too well, some of those regrets have been costly.   Some of those regrets have cost some of us – everything.  Regret is especially profound and appropriate when our past actions have affected innocent lives.  We should always regret the wrong we have done and the subsequent consequences they have caused. 

Having said that, we must not let past regret paralyze our present or negatively affect our future  (as much as it is in our control).   We cannot let our regrets beat us up for the rest of our lives.   Yes, we should accept the responsibility for our actions.  But then we should raise our heads high, knowing we have done (or are doing) everything in our power to make right our wrongs.  We must look at regret, eyeball to eyeball, recognize our failure, own our specific role, offer the necessary apologies and move it to the pile of “precious.”

When I think of the word precious, sadly I think of Gollom, the grotesque creature in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  If you are familiar with the story, you know that Gollom is also after the coveted ring.  He has a love/hate relationship with it.  When it is in his possession, he cradles it in his hands and says (in a way only he can), “My precious.”   It’s very creepy.  The movie does an outstanding job of portraying the torment the ring causes him.  He hates the ring and what it does to him but at the same moment, it is precious to him.   That is how I often view my pile of regret.

On one hand, I hate them because of all the pain they have caused me and others through the years.  On the other hand, each one has taught me lessons that I’m not sure I could have learned without them.  Each one has grown me and matured me in a way that would have been impossible otherwise.  

I’m reminded of the story in the New Testament with Simon, a leader of the church and “a woman who lived a sinful life.”   As Jesus entered the house of Simon, one of the Pharisees, the woman followed Him in.  Back in that day, it would have been customary for the host of the home to do two things for each guest.  First, to offer a kiss (on both cheeks) as a sign of friendship and welcome.  Second, to offer a bowl of water to wash the traveler’s feet.  In our culture, it would be customary to “take their coat.”  In Galilee the equivalent gesture would be a bowl of water as walking in the desert gave every arriving house guest dirty feet.  Simon failed to offer Jesus either customary greeting.  By contrast, the “sinful” woman did.  The Bible tells us what Simon thought of her presence.  “When the Pharisee who had invited him saw the woman, he said to himself, “If this man (Jesus) were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is — that she is a sinner.”   Jesus points out the contradiction of character when “he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give Me any water for My feet, but she wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give Me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing My feet.   You did not put oil on My head, but she has poured perfume on My feet.   Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” (Luke 7:44-47)

Based on her description alone, it’s obvious the woman had some regrets. Looking at her emotional reaction, it’s safe to say her regret pile was large. Judging from Simon’s thoughts, her reputation preceded her.  But think about her above gesture for a minute.  How hard must you cry in order to collect enough tears to wash with?  What posture must you assume in order to get your hair on someone’s feet?  How humble must you be to touch anyone’s feet for any reason?  This wasn’t done privately.  This was done openly in a stranger’s house!  It gives us a glimpse to the depth of her regrets!

I relate to that woman.  I have lived the sinful life and have the moral rap sheet to prove it.  I have hurt others with my words and actions and feel their stares from time to time in public places.  It’s not easy living with regret because even years after the fact, the consequences can live on.  

One Sunday I walked into a local church and saw two individuals who I knew were hurt by my actions.  One was my city’s version of Simon, a leader in the church and community.  The woman next to him was his daughter.  I intentionally approached them in a spirit of reconciliation and friendship.  Needless to say, it takes courage to initiate such an approach.  The woman looked at me and said, “How dare you darken the doors of this church?”   I wasn’t sure what to say.   I looked at “Simon” and he said nothing.  He didn’t have to.  I knew I was the last person they wanted to deal with that day.  I simply smiled and said, “It’s good to see you both” and walked into the sanctuary.  Where else was I supposed to go?   I had a bucket of tears and some hair and was looking for a pair of nailed pierced feet to wash.  

Something important happened that day.  I realized that I may never “earn back” a relationship with some people I have hurt.  I also realized that I cannot let my regret paralyze me from moving forward.  I can’t let shame keep me from healing.  And I certainly cannot let the condescending looks of a few “Christians” keep me from darkening the doors of a church.  I didn’t come to church that Sunday to be judged by fellow sinners.  I came to get cleansed by a gracious God.  And before Him we all stand as regretful equals.  

Yes, I have some regrets.  Yes, the pile is larger than I’d like to admit.  But I am thankful I have a God who embraces each one of them, places them on His outstretched arms and lifts my head in grace.   And that can turn any regret into a precious lesson.

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (II Corinthians 7:10)

My scars and what they teach me

rodarters

 I have a sizeable “V-shaped” scar on my right forearm.  It looks like I was bit by a Pit Bull.  In fact, I often tell people who ask that is what happened.  Or I’ll claim it was an injury I sustained “in ‘Nam” even though I was five when the Vietnam War had ended.  It always raises an eyebrow when I say it, which gives me great satisfaction.  I’m not sure why I enjoy saying that.  I’ll have to work that one out with my counselor.

My scar is the result of a freak accident when I was ten years old.  During an intense backyard baseball game (think Sandlot), my moving arm caught the bar of a nearby swing set.  As my forearm struck the metal pole, a rusty screw was sticking out and grabbed the flesh, severing  nerves and tearing tendons.  Game over.  Six hours and eight surgical staples later, my arm was “fixed.”  It happened to be Mother’s Day.  Nothing says “Happy Mother’s Day” like seeing a child in the E.R. on her special day.

We all have scars.  They seem to be the by-product of life.  Some of our scars are physical.  Others are emotional or mental.  But if we are honest, we all have some.  Some we can show off to others and even laugh about their origins.  Others are so painful to discuss or even reveal – we do our best to hide them from sight or even our own memory.   Some may affect our lives for a day or a week or a month.  Others are life-changing.  I have a combination of both.  I have come to appreciate the scars (physical & emotional) I have acquired in my first forty-two years.  Having said that, I am hoping to receive less scars in my last four or five decades on this planet.  Regrettably, because of foolish decisions and poor choices, I have unknowingly given some scars to others in my path.  For that, I am truly sorry.

Scars reveal a past hurt.  Scars hide a previous pain.  They normally point to a regretful experience and a painful past.  Some scars are the result of a true “accident”.  Other scars are because of foolish decisions.  The hardest scar to heal from is the one received unwillingly by another’s selfish action.   Children of divorce understand that scar all too well.

As I look back at some of my scars (physical & emotional), I have come to appreciate them in a new light.  That appreciation has not come easily or quickly.  Whereas before I might have tried to make up a palatable story to explain the scar’s existence, now I just tell the story “as is.”  Whereas before I might have tried to cover up the mark and avoid talking about it, now I embrace it as part of the “new me.”  Some people, depending on their scar or the pain that caused it, will not be able to reach my same level of transparency.  Others, over time, might come to a point where they are even thankful for the experience that caused the scar.  For the most part, I am at that stage.  I am grateful for the experiences and their scars as it has taught me some valuable lessons I could not have learned without them.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  As a result, I tend to think my scars exist in order to teach me a greater lesson.  Sometimes I wonder if some of my scars are not for me as much as they are for others.  Seeing that God’s ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts (Isaiah 55), God could allow me to receive a scar for the sole benefit of others.  Being that He is multi-dimensional, He could also use one scar to teach multiple people multiple lessons.  The book of Job is an example of that.  Because I do not know the cause of your particular scar, I will not assume that the lessons I glean should be applied to you.  That is your call.  Having said that, here are a few lessons that my scars have taught me.

  • My scars remind me of where I have been.  Depending on the scar and it’s cause, this can be an extremely painful reminder, particularly if the scar is from someone else’s selfish act. But I have found it is a good reminder (from time to time) as I can better appreciate where I am today.  Those who deny the existence of the pain that caused the scar or the scar itself cannot ultimately heal like they need to.  Too often we try to cover the scar instead of embracing it, to our own detriment.  At the very least, we need to work through the pain and do what we can to reduce the scar tissue.
  • My scar reminds me to be careful in the future.  Every scar comes with a lesson.  For a burn mark on a toddler’s hand, the lesson is do not touch a hot stove.  The physical scars usually communicate a very clear lesson like – do not run into swing sets.  The emotional or mental scars may be harder to discern what the lesson is.  They can certainly take more time to uncover.  Even so, there is always something we can learn from our scars and therefore it is always worth the time invested to discover it.  Take the time to do the research on what caused it and what needs to happen so you don’t experience any more.  Needless to say, I no longer play backyard wiffle ball with a rusted swing set near the bases.
  • Each scar helps me empathize with others who have similar scars.  If I have the scar of surviving cancer, I can empathize with those who are in the midst of receiving their cancer scar.  If I have the scar of losing a child or losing a job or losing a relationship, I can help others through the same painful loss.  There is a great power in empathy.  There is a special bond that is created when you are truly able to relate (experientially) to another man’s pain.  As II Corinthians 1 reminds us, “…the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  The goal with every scar is to eventually get to a point where you can help others deal with theirs.  We are on this planet together for a reason.  We are our brother’s keeper.  In that place of comforting others, you often find an unexpected healing in you.
  • A scar is a sign of healing.   “Every significant wound results in some degree of scarring.  A scar results from the biological process of wound repair in the skin and other tissues in the body.  Thus, scarring is a natural part of the healing process.” (Wikipedia.org)  If there wasn’t a scar, it would still be a wound.  The fact that there is a scar reveals that there has been some level of healing.  Some of the scars I have experienced have taken me years before I could get in a position to talk about it or help others.  Other scars I can talk about relatively quickly.   The fact that there is a scar is a good sign.  The painful experience is over.  Healing has begun.

Though most of us would not have chosen many of the negative experiences we have gone through, as we look back we can see some good that has come out of it.  God has the unique ability to make an ugly scar beautiful (Romans 8:28).

When I was five years old, my Dad died in front of me.  As he took a nap on the couch, I was playing nearby on the floor with my brother.  While he was asleep, his lungs inexplicably collapsed and he died.  It is my only true memory of my father.  For the last 37 years I have carried that scar of a lost relationship.  I missed out on all the typical father/son activities.  To my frustration, I grew up watching many children not appreciate their parents.  One of the lessons that particular scar taught me is that life is short and precious and to appreciate those you have – while you have them.   The loss of my Dad has also made me a better parent – another valuable lesson gleaned from that scar.  Though the scar is painful, even to this day, much good has come out of it.  Over the years I have been able to help comfort dozens of children and teenagers who have lost a parent suddenly.  Without my particular scar, such comfort would have been impossible.

Perhaps the next time you look at your own scars, you will have a different perspective? Perhaps one day you will have the courage to embrace a particularly painful scar or the reason for its existence? Maybe there is a lesson for you in the scar?  Maybe the lesson is for someone else? Maybe even one day you will get to the point of helping others handle theirs?  Your scar, though created by pain, could end up being something very beautiful to behold.

One last thought…

On the night that Jesus was resurrected from the dead, He appeared to His disciples (John 20).  After greeting them, the very first thing He did was show them His scars – the scars given to Him as a result of the cross.  The scars on His hands, side & feet were significant as they pointed to an extremely painful past.  Jesus could have covered them up.  He could have gotten mad at the Jews for giving them to Him.  He could have blamed the Romans for scarring the hands that made them.  Instead, He was quick to show them off because He recognized the purpose behind them.  His scars revealed that healing had occurred.  As the prophet Isaiah wrote 700 years before, “He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities;  He was beaten so we could be made whole.  By His wounds, we are healed. (verse 5)”  In other words, His hands were scarred so ours don’t have to be.

When I get to Heaven, I want to see His scars.   After all, without them, I’d never be there.

His scars are visible for a reason.  So are yours.

The Dark Knight Rises indeed

rodarters

By now most everyone has probably heard the news of another shooting spree in Colorado.  (What is it with that state and its senseless shootings??)   Last night, during an early morning screening of the new Batman movie, “A Dark Knight Rises”, a 24-year-old man walked into a packed theatre, released a tear-gas laden smoke bomb and opened fire on the crowd.  From all reports, he was heavily armed.  By contrast, his victims were not.   As of now, 12 are dead with over 70 injured.  Some are still in critical condition, clinging to life.  Those that manage to survive will never be the same.

It’s difficult to watch the news coverage of such a tragedy.   Most of us watch it from our sterile environments and remain a safe emotional distance from the pain.  But last night, someone lost their son or daughter.  Someone’s Mom or Dad was killed.  They didn’t die in Iraq or Afghanistan.  They died in Suburbia.  They didn’t die protecting our freedom.  They died enjoying one.  Dozens and dozens of families are forever changed because of a 45 second act of selfishness.

It seems like once a month, someone, somewhere is opening fire on innocents.  Because this shooting was located in Colorado, it rips the scab off the Columbine wound we are still recovering from.  Obviously, everyone with a soul is heartbroken about the loss of life.  Everyone is outraged at the shooter and looking for swift justice to occur.  And as the media pundits over analyze every aspect of this tragedy, the blame game is about to begin.

  • The anti-gun people will blame the gun for this shooting.
  • Someone will blame the store that sold the killer the weapons.  (By the way, he was a legal gun owner)
  • The pro-gun people will use this to promote our Second amendment rights and that everyone should carry a weapon.
  • Anti-gamers will talk about how video game violence is the root cause of this evil.
  • Someone will blame his parents for raising a killer.
  • I’m sure it will come out that the killer was bullied in 3rd grade and a new law will come out banning 3rd grade bullying.
  • Someone will use this tragedy to say how we need to install metal detectors in movie theatres.
  • Others will say we will need to implement security checks (similar to what occurs at our airports) before entering such public places.
  • Others will say that it is Hollywood’s fault because our movies are too violent.
  • Some will say we need more police protection in public places.

There is no shortage of people we can blame.

While some (or all) of those points may be valid, it still ignores the deeper issue of why the Dark Knight rises as often as he does.

The problem is not guns or the lack of them.  The problem is not the lack of police or the lack of metal detectors in public places.  The real problem cannot be pinned on Hollywood or Xbox or our government school system.  The real problem is a lot closer to home.  The real problem is not what lies without – but rather what lies within.

The story is told of a newspaper who posed a question to its readers.  The question was simply, “What is wrong with this world?”  One reader, a well-known English writer, submitted his succinct, honest answer:

“Dear Sirs:

I am.

Sincerely Yours, G. K. Chesterton”

It is easy to blame “the system” for such failures.   It is easier to put the focus on someone or something else for our national problems.  It’s easier to create a new law than it is to address a human heart.   And that is why the problem will never be fixed.  That is why these shootings will continue to occur.  That is why our media experts and articulate politicians will continue to suggest ineffective solutions.  A new law cannot change the heart.  It merely shows us how wrong the heart really is.  A metal detector cannot detect evil intentions.  A strip search cannot find malice in your pocket.

Almost 2,700 years ago, the Prophet Jeremiah penned the following words about the human heart.  Apparently, in almost three millenia, our condition has not changed.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

Though we are the most modern, sophisticated, technologically advanced country in the history of the world, our problem still lies in our chest. We cannot create an app to fix it.

We like to villanize those that fall and create a safe moral distance between them and us.  But is there really a great chasm between us?  How many married men read about the latest celebrities indiscretions with disgust while they flirt with the office secretary?  How many divorced women took their ex-husband to the cleaner in the divorce because of his pornography addiction but justifies her recent viewing of “Magic Mike”?   We would press charges against the thief who robbed our home but do not see a connection between the time we steal at the office.   It’s easy to throw the book at people like Jerry Sandusky or Bernie Madoff.  The truth is, the only difference between “them” and you and me are a few bars and a lot of grace.  As G.K. Chesterton once wrote, “There is but an inch of difference between the cushioned chamber and the padded cell.”

King David was a mass murderer and adulterer.  His sins are infamous and horrific.  No one knew his depravity more than he did.  And from that knowledge he penned the following Psalm,

“Be gracious to me, O God, according to your lovingkindness; according to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.  Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (51:1-2, 7, 10)

The truth is, the Dark Knight lives within us all.  We all have the capacity for great evil, and absent the grace of God we are all capable of the unimaginable.

We should certainly pray for the victims of this latest tragedy and do whatever we can (financially, emotionally) to help their families rebuild.

We should also pray for the 24-year-old man.  He’s obviously very troubled and will very likely wake up one day in prison gripped with the reality of what he alone has done.

Pray for your own heart as well and spend some time today thinking about the hypocritical rooms in it.  Chances are, the Dark Knight is alive and well in there.  He just hasn’t risen yet.  And by the grace of God, he won’t.

Single? 10 creative ways to find a mate

rodarters

It is estimated that there are over 54 million single people in the United States.  Most of my single friends say the same thing about finding love, “It’s so hard to meet someone decent.”   Many of them have exhausted the traditional places one searches for their next date (the church, the bar, the office, the gym – to name a few).   Beyond those places, where else can you go?   Before they allow their parents to pre-arrange anything, many today go online.

According to StatisticBrain.com, 40 million American singles have tried online dating sites like eHarmony or Match.com.  With the average dater spending over $200 per year for such sites, the industry rakes in over 1 billion dollars annually.  The Beatles claimed that “You can’t buy me love.”   Apparently, they were wrong.  Love can be purchased and it has a steep price tag.  Interestingly, (according to the same website) the typical online marriage lasts just over 18 months long.   Love is expensive!

But what if you do not live in a technological area?  What if, for example, you are Amish?  Would you attend the local barn raising event or enter a butter churning contest to find a suitable mate?  What if you did not grow up in a technological era?   Where would you find love if you grew up in a Biblical town during the Biblical days?  After a brief survey of the Bible, I have compiled a list of how folks in the Bible found their mate.  After reading the below segment, it should make online dating (OR letting your parents choose for you) much more attractive.   If you are single, perhaps one of the methods below will work for you?

10 CREATIVE WAYS TO FIND A MATE – ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE:

1.  Have God create a wife for you while you are asleep. 

“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”  But for Adam  no suitable helper was found.  So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribsand then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:18-24). 

2.  Marry your sister.   (Where do you think Cain’s wife came from??   Prior to the passage below, the only people mentioned on earth are Adam & Eve.)

“Cain made love to his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch. Cain was then building a city,   and he named it after his son Enoch. To Enoch was born Irad, and Irad was the father of Mehujael, and Mehujael was the father of Methushael, and Methushael was the father of Lamech.  Lamech married  two women,  one named Adah and the other Zillah.” (Genesis 4:17-19)

3.  Find a man who owns a farm that has lots of daughters.  Impress him by watering his flock.

“Now a priest of Midian had seven daughters, and they came to draw water and fill the troughs to water their father’s flock. Some shepherds came along and drove them away, but Moses got up and came to their rescue  and watered their flock.  When the girls returned to Reuel  their father, he asked them, “Why have you returned so early today?”  They answered, “An Egyptian rescued us from the shepherds. He even drew water for us and watered the flock.”   “And where is he?” Reuel asked his daughters. “Why did you leave him? Invite him to have something to eat.”  Moses agreed to stay with the man, who gave his daughter Zipporah  to Moses in marriage.”  (Exodus 2:16-21)

4.  Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours.

“When you go to war against your enemies and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife.   Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured.”  (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

5.  Find a prostitute and marry her.

“When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.”  So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.” (Hosea 1:2-3)

A prophet marrying a prostitute?  Now there’s a headline!

6.  Purchase a piece of property.  Make sure a woman is part of the deal. 

“Then Boaz announced to the elders and all the people, “Today you are witnesses that I have bought from Naomi all the property of Elimelek, Kilion and Mahlon. I have also acquired Ruth the Moabite, Mahlon’s widow, as my wife, in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property, so that his name will not disappear from among his family or from his hometown.   Today you are witnesses! ”  (Ruth 4:9-10)

7.  Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.

“And the elders of the assembly said, “With the women of Benjamin destroyed, how shall we provide wives for the men who are left?  The Benjamite survivors must have heirs,” they said, “so that a tribe of Israel will not be wiped out.  We can’t give them our daughters as wives, since we Israelites have taken this oath: ‘Cursed be anyone who gives a wife to a Benjamite.’ But look, there is the annual festival of the Lord in Shiloh,  which lies north of Bethel, east of the road that goes from Bethel to Shechem,  and south of Lebonah.”  So they instructed the Benjamites, saying, “Go and hide in the vineyards and watch. When the young women of Shiloh come out to join in the dancing, rush from the vineyards and each of you seize one of them to be your wife. Then return to the land of Benjamin. When their fathers or brothers complain to us, we will say to them, ‘Do us the favor of helping them, because we did not get wives for them during the war. You will not be guilty of breaking your oath because you did not give your daughters to them.’”  So that is what the Benjamites did. While the young women were dancing,  each man caught one and carried her off to be his wife.”  (Judges 21:16-25)

(Warning: I have a feeling that this option would carry some serious legal ramifications if tried today.  Just sayin’.)

8.  Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife.

“Then Saul ordered his attendants: “Speak to David privately and say, ‘Look, the king likes you, and his attendants all love you; now become his son-in-law.’”  They repeated these words to David. But David said, “Do you think it is a small matter to become the king’s son-in-law?  I’m only a poor man and little known.”  When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.  When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal  in marriage.” (I Samuel 18:22-27)

(A word of caution here: Think twice before you use this method to obtain a wife, as this option is life-threatening.  If this is what your future father-in-law requires you to do before he gives you his daughter’s hand in marriage, ask yourself if this is really the kind of family you want to get involved with?   Lastly, if you thought admitting that you met your mate online was embarrassing, try this one.)

9.  Grab someone else’s wife and kill her husband.  

(Warning: It’s a very bad idea, breaks two major commandments and will not end well for you or the husband.  II Samuel 11 covers the entire story.)

10.  Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.

“King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.  He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.”  (1 Kings 11:1-3)

(For those of you who are married, you know how hard it is to please one wife.  Can you imagine 700 or more?   This option really is not wise at all.  Interestingly, Solomon was considered to be the wisest man to ever have lived.   Apparently even the wisest among us have lapses of judgment from time to time.)

Final note…

If you are reading this and are married, thank God that He has provided you with a spouse.  Do what YOU can to strengthen that marriage TODAY since we know that a strong marriage is wonderful for both the family and the country.  Remember, “God hates divorce” (Malachi 2:16) and NO ONE wins when that option is chosen, except maybe a lawyer.

If you are reading this and are single, thank God as well.  Perhaps you are not called to be married (I Corinthians 7:24) or that God is saving you from severe heartache?  If you think you are lonely now, it pales in comparison to being lonely in a marriage.  Or maybe you are not ready for a relationship yet and God is still working on your relationship with Him (Matthew 6:33).  Regardless of the reason, embrace and enjoy your singlehood.  There are many who jumped too quickly into marriage (for all the wrong reasons) and would love to trade places with you now.

Personally, I’d choose option #1.   How cool would that be?   You drift off asleep – dreaming about the perfect spouse and when you wake up – there he/she is – ready for you!   Humorously, an evangelist (Ray Comfort) once remarked that “God put man into a deep sleep and nowhere in the Bible does it say he ever came out of it.”  

(Forward this to all your single friends.  They need as much help as they can get!)

When a fast paced life meets a slow motion God

rodarters

I recently received a heart breaking email from a single mom.  She read my blog (How to climb a mountain) and began to tell me about her particular mountain and how difficult the climb has been.  She is struggling vocationally and as a result, financially and is trying to figure out where God is in the midst of her ascent.  Her mountain is big and she’s tired of climbing.  She works constantly, cares for her child, maintains a house and goes to bed exhausted every night.  She sees very little light at the end of the tunnel.  Most days, it just looks like an oncoming train.  Sound familiar?

I relate to her struggle.  The last three years have been the hardest of my life.  In fact, it seems like everyone I talk to these days is hurting on some level.  Maybe because of my life circumstances I am around more hurting people?  Or maybe we just live in a hurting world and some of us are more honest about the pain than others.  Some of us are hurting from self-inflicted wounds.  Others are hurting as a result of the decisions of others.  Though the reason we hurt may be different, the pain is still the same.  The mountain just keeps growing bigger and your legs just get more tired of climbing.  It feels like the movie, Groundhog Day.  You wonder, when will this day or struggle ever end?

It reminds me of the story of the woman on the donkey:

One day a woman mounted a donkey and began to ride.  Within seconds, the donkey kicked her off to the ground.  She got up, brushed herself off and mounted again.  Within seconds, the donkey kicked her off again.  She repeated this again with the same result.  Finally, in frustration, she raised a fist to heaven and shouted, “Why do You keep doing this to me??”   Surprised, she heard a loud voice respond, “I do this to all My friends.”   She replied, “And that is why You have so few friends!”

My friend wonders why God is allowing her such a struggle.  She loves God, goes to church and doesn’t rob banks or kill anyone – isn’t that worth something?  Daily she wonders how long she must continue to struggle before life gets easier again?  If you’re honest, you have probably thought the same thing.   King David asked the same question in Psalm 13.   You can hear the tone of his desperation through each word he penned, “How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide Your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?”   Even the martyrs in Heaven, those killed on earth for their faith, ask the same question in Revelation 6, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, will You refrain from judging and avenging our blood on those who dwell on the earth?”   From the depths of earth to the heights of heaven, everyone seems to be asking the same question – HOW LONG until my situation changes?  How long until God acts on my behalf??  Everyone else seems blessed, when is it my turn?

Moses understands the frustration of dealing with a slow motion God.   Having been called by God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses finds himself battling against the most powerful ruler in the world, Pharaoh.  After watching God perform ten amazing miracles (Exodus 7-11) and bring Pharaoh to his knees, Moses finds himself on the verge of national freedom.  For the first time in over 400 years, God’s people would no longer be slaves.  On the night before their “exodus” into Canaan, God has them first camp “in Etham on the edge of the wilderness.” (Exodus 13:20).   Then, He orders them to “encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea..” (Exodus 14:2)  In what seems to be an intentionally irrational move, God has them pitch their tents with the Red sea on one side and the mountain range on the other.

As Egypt’s army approaches, Pharaoh realizes the tactical “mistake” of Israel and weighs in on God’s confusing maneuver, “They are wandering aimlessly in the land; the wilderness has shut them in.”

Does that sum up life for you right now?  Are you dealing with a slow motion God?  Wondering why it’s taking Him so long to act on your behalf?  Questioning why He does what He does?  Can’t figure out why His timing is so off?  Feel like you are wandering aimlessly in a desert?  Wondering how much longer you can survive in your worn down and vulnerable position?

Militaristically speaking, Moses couldn’t be in any worse of a location.  Literally, the Israelite’s have no chance of escape and are completely trapped and out-gunned by the powerful Egyptian army.  With the Red Sea on one side and the Egyptian army on the other, they are simply out of room, time and options.  Can you relate to that feeling?  How long till God finally does something about this?

If you are familiar with the story (Exodus 14), you know that God (through Moses) parted the Red Sea.  The Israelites walked across on dry ground and when Pharaoh’s army tried to follow, the sea collapsed upon them and delivered a fatal blow to the Egyptian military.   Though it seemed that God was too late, it turns out – He wasn’t late at all.   He was just working on His own timetable.

We may never understand why He calls us to wander in a desert.  Or why He asks us to stick with a job.  Or a spouse.  We may never know why He asks us to take the scenic route of life when the highway makes so much more sense.  Why do it His way when my way is so much quicker?

God can appear to move slow – but it is only slow on a human clock.  As He reminds us in Isaiah 55:8-9, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are My ways your ways.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”  

The truth is, we live in a different world than God.  If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, God lives in another galaxy altogether.  He thinks differently.  He acts differently.  We prefer the speed of microwave food.  God cooks over an open flame.  We like to drive fast.  God prefers to walk.  We are all about getting to our destination.  God is all about the journey.   We watch the clock.   God watches the heart.   We want to get to the end result.  God likes to focus on the process.

We do live in a fast paced world.  But God is often a slow motion God.   Though He can create a planet in one day, He often takes His time when building some character.  Though He can instantly heal a blind man with one word, He prefers to heal a human heart over time.

The next time you wonder “How long?” – remember this… you’re in good company.

  • Noah spent over 100 years building the Ark.  (He had never seen a flood before).
  • Abraham spent 25 years waiting for God to provide the “child of promise.”  (For someone who desires a child, that’s an eternity to wait!)
  • Joseph was in prison for over 2 years waiting for those he helped to remember he was there.  (His crime?  Doing the right thing.)
  • Moses spent 80 years wandering in a desert.  (No air conditioning.  No books to read.  No wi-fi.)
  • The longest night of Daniel’s life was spent in a lion’s den.  (Why was he there?  Because he prayed.)
  • David was anointed as the King of Israel as a teenager.  It would be years later before he would actually wear the crown.  In the interim, he spent most of his time as a fugitive literally running for his life.  (No wonder He kept asking God “How long?”)
  • Even Jesus asked God “Why?” while hanging on the cross.

God likes to put His children in a position where He is the only possible solution.  If Israel could have fought their way out, Israel would have bragged that they delivered themselves.  If Moses could have delivered His people, then Moses would have been hailed as the hero.  God doesn’t play like that.  He doesn’t share His glory with others.

“That day the Lord saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore. And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in Him and in Moses his servant.” – Exodus 14:30

Waiting on God?  Get used to it.  He’s shaping you for a greater work.  You will be there longer than you want, that’s for sure.  But know this – He hasn’t forgotten you or your cries for help.  He’s just not done His work in you yet.

He doesn’t need more time – you do.

No wonder I’m a better American than Christian

rodarters

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At approximately 7:32am every weekday morning at my son’s elementary school something beautiful happens.  Immediately after morning announcements about 800 little people all over the school place their right hand over their heart and say in unison, the Pledge of Allegiance.   Some say it while they are yawning.  Others don’t know all the words.  Few, if any (at their tender age), can truly appreciate what it means.  But they all say it.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Changed four times since it was created in 1892, those 31 words penned by Francis Bellamy require us to do something that we rarely do – pledge an allegiance.

Most Americans are fiercely loyal to their country.  Perhaps it is because we recognize the many freedoms and blessings we enjoy that the rest of the world does not.  Perhaps it is because of our military dominance. Maybe it’s because of our beautiful landscape or caliber of citizens?   For some, the luxurious ammenities make our country the greatest (indoor plumbing, hot showers, on demand electricity, high speed internet, The Bachlorette, etc.).  While all of those reasons may be true –  I’m starting to wonder if there is another, more subtle reason for our loyalty – the pledge.

Most of us grew up reciting the pledge of allegiance in school.  Every single day for 13 years, I stood at attention, stared at the Stars and Stripes and said the pledge of allegiance – to “the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands.”  As I was reciting the pledge again in my son’s class, I pondered my own verbal commitment to my country.  It shouldn’t surprise me that I’m an intensely loyal American.   Afterall, I calculated that I recited the pledge over 2300 times from kindergarten to graduation.  I think if I pledged allegiance to cottage cheese 2300 times, I’d be just as loyal.

I began to think about what other areas of life require a significant pledge from me, as an adult.  I could think of only three two:

  • The pledge to order Thin Mint cookies from the Girl Scouts.  I consider it my civic duty to purchase and consume several boxes a year.
  • The pledge (aka public declaration) of my faith
  • The pledge (aka vows) of my marriage.

Think about our typical declaration of faith.  At the end of their sermon, many preachers ask everyone in the sanctuary to close their eyes, bow their heads and raise their hands to “choose Christ.”  Under a cloud of secrecy, no one else present is allowed to see who is making a profession of faith with their silently raised hand.   In such an environment, it makes one feel as if they should be embarrassed about their decision.

There are some churches who recite the Apostles Creed every Sunday.  That would be the closest thing we have to a Christian pledge.  But I would venture to say that most self-proclaimed Christians could not recite it from memory.  Even if they do know it, they don’t say it daily.  Even so, it’s not a pledge as much as it is an itemized list of beliefs.  It simply states what a Christian is supposed to believe.  It is a far cry from a pledge to act out on those beliefs.

Why is the state of Christianity so sad in America?  For starters, I’ll be the first to admit – it’s because of me.  People who do a poor job of living out what they say they believe.  Perhaps if Christians had a daily pledge of allegiance and it was done verbally, publicly and daily – we’d have a nation of stronger believers?

Consider the pledge we make in marriage.   Though there are many private “I love yous” throughout the course of a relationship, there is really only one time designated to stand up and publicly pledge that love – the wedding ceremony.  If we are honest, most couples do not watch their wedding video or review their vows as a reminder of their commitment.  We promise to be faithful.  We promise to never leave.  We promise that no matter what happens – we will work it out.  Such lofty promises, rarely repeated again.  Based on the prevalent and growing divorce rate in our country (even among Christians who “know better”), I think it is safe to say – one pledge one time is not enough.

What would happen to marriages across the land if – every day – spouses repeated the vows made to each other, some 5 years ago?   15 years ago?  Even 50 years ago?

I think we’d have stronger marriages and as a result, stronger families.

What would happen to the state of Christianity in America if every true Christian said a daily pledge to be faithful to their God?

I think we’d also have stronger Christians and stronger churches.

And if we had stronger families and stronger churches, we’d have a stronger nation.  Who doesn’t want that?

God approved my flat tire?

rodarters

When I was a youth director, every year I had the privilege of leading members of my church overseas on our annual mission project.  Every year, prior to my departure, I had the same conversation with a relative about the apparent dangers of air travel and foreign countries.  Every year I tried to explain to her that if God wanted to “take me out”, He could do it just as easily in aisle 3 of Wal-Mart as He could on a plane somewhere over the Atlantic.   Although there is intellectual consent to this truth, I find my relative is not alone in her thinking.   Most Christians, although claiming to believe in a sovereign God – somehow question His sovereignty as it affects their daily life.  And if they do not question His sovereignty directly, they do so by allowing worry to infiltrate every area of their life.  This contradiction leads me to the question, “How sovereign is God?”   In other words, is He in control of things or is He not?

I recognize that my friends who are Christians might be quick to say that He is in control of everything, because the Bible tells them so.  It can be easy to understand why my non-believing friends might scoff at that idea – particularly as you watch the evening news and see all the chaos that is around us.  With the newspaper in one hand and my Bible in the other – I am learning how to walk by faith (though feebly most days) instead of sight.  My physical eyes see one world.  His spiritual eyes see another.  I’m trying to get more of His vision.

Having said that, I have come to realize that there is no doctrine more comforting to the soul of man than the doctrine of God’s sovereignty.  The doctrine of God’s sovereignty simply means that God does WHAT He wants, WHEN He wants, HOW He wants, WHY He wants, WHERE He wants – simply because He is God.

As Psalm 115:3 reminds us, “But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.”  As Abraham Kuyper – Dutch theologian & one time prime minister of the Netherlands once wrote, “In the total expanse of human life there is not a single square inch of which the Christ, who alone is sovereign, does not declare,“THAT is mine!”

Proof of His sovereignty is all over Scripture:

  • God is sovereign over creation (Genesis 1:1, 4, Acts 17:24).   Just ask the sun, moon & stars (Psalm 19:1-6).
  • God is sovereign over mankind (Genesis 1:26-27).  Just ask Adam (Genesis 1:29-30, 2:5-8, 15-25).
  • God is sovereign over the affairs of man.     Just ask Joseph’s brothers (Genesis 50:20).
  • God is sovereign over the hairs of man (Luke 12:7).
  • God is sovereign over the thoughts of man.   Just ask the Pharisees (Luke 6:6-11).
  • God is sovereign over court decisions.    Just ask Pilate (John 19:8-12).
  • God is sovereign over the kings of the culture (Proverbs 21:1).  Just ask Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4:28-37).
  • God is sovereign over relationships.   Just ask Boaz (Ruth 3 & 4).
  • God is sovereign over where we live (Genesis 12:1-9, Acts 17:26).   Just ask Ruth (Ruth 1).
  • God is sovereign over what we do for a living.   Just ask Moses (Exodus 3:10).
  • God is sovereign over money.
  • God is sovereign over greed.    Just ask Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11).
  • God is sovereign over clothing.    Just ask the wandering Israelites (Deuteronomy 8:4).
  • God is sovereign over food and drink (Matthew 6:25-34). Just ask the 5,000 (Matthew 14:13-21).
  • God is sovereign over the womb.  (Psalm 139:13-16)   Just ask Sarah (Genesis 18:9-15, 21:1-3) or better yet, the virgin Mary. (Luke 1:26-38)
  • God is sovereign over health.
  • God is sovereign over birth defects.   Just ask the man born blind from birth. (John 9:1-12)
  • God is sovereign over paralysis.   Just ask the roofer in Mark chapter 2. (Mark 2:1-12)
  • God is sovereign over illness.   Just ask Peter’s mother in law. (Matthew 8:14-15)
  • God is sovereign over chronic pain.   Just ask the man by the pool in Bethesda. (John 5:1-9)
  • God is sovereign over disease.   Just ask Naaman. (II Kings 5:1-14)
  • God is sovereign over “accidents”.   Just ask Malchus. (John 18:10) or Just ask Eutychus. (Acts 20:7-12)
  • God is sovereign over the weather.   Just ask the disciples. (Mark 4:35-41)
  • God is sovereign over the clouds. (Isaiah 5:6)
  • God is sovereign over the elements.   Just ask Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego. (Daniel 3:19-27)
  • God is sovereign over angels. (Luke 1:26)
  • God is sovereign over Satan (Job 1:8-12, 2:3-6) & his demons. (Luke 8:26-39)
  • God is sovereign over sin
  • God is sovereign over betrayal.  Just ask Judas. (John 18:1-11)
  • God is sovereign over rejection. Just ask Peter. (John 18:25-27)
  • God is sovereign over genocide. Just ask Herod. (Matthew 2:13-23)
  • God is sovereign over tragedy.   Just ask Job. (Job 1:13-22, 2:7-10)
  • God is sovereign over murder.  Just ask Cain. (Genesis 4:5-16)
  • God is sovereign over adultery.  Just ask Hosea. (Hosea 1:2-3)
  • God is sovereign over life. (John 1:3-4, 14:6)  Just ask the thief pardoned from the cross. (Luke 23:39-43)
  • God is sovereign over death (Acts 17:26).    Just ask Lazarus. (John 11:1-46)   Or better yet, ask Jesus. (John 20:1-18)
  • God is sovereign over salvation. (Acts 4:12, John 14:6)   Just ask Zacchaeus. (Luke 19:1-10)
  • God is sovereign over time.   Just ask Joshua. (Joshua 10:12-14)
  • God is sovereign over space.   Just ask Phillip. (Acts 8:38-40)
  • God is sovereign over eternity.   Just ask Him. (Revelation 22:13, John 1:1)
  • God is sovereign over the future. (Matthew 16:21-23)
  • God is sovereign over animals.   Just ask Jonah (Jonah 1:17).   Or Balaam. (Numbers 22:23-35)
  • He is well aware of birds (Luke 12:6) and when He chooses to end their flights (Matthew 10:29).
  • Even the movements of a single fly are under His control. (Exodus 8:31, Isaiah 7:18)

In our fallen world, there will always be evil and as a result – such evil will create events that make us question whether God is able to do anything about it.  It can make us wonder whether He cares.  We have all heard sentences like “How can a loving God allow _______? (fill in the blank).   But just because He does not choose to supernaturally intervene in a particular situation does not mean He cannot.  It also does not mean He is impervious to our suffering.  God is a cause and effect God.  He is a reaping and sowing God.  We see this most clearly in the natural law of gravity.

God placed the natural law of gravity into effect and allows that natural law to govern our physical world.  What goes up, must come down.  If I were to walk off a bridge, I would immediately fall.  No one questions that.  No one complains that God is unfair when He lets people violate that natural law.  You do not hear questions like, “How can a loving God allow that man to fall to his death after he walked off a bridge?”  We understand that is the natural consequence of violating that natural law.   Can God stop or suspend the natural law of gravity?  Absolutely.  But does He?  Not often.   And because He chooses not to, that does not mean He is not sovereign over the law of gravity.  It also does not mean He does not care about what is falling.  He put the law into effect and we learn best when He does not tamper with those laws.  Likewise, it is the same with His moral law.

So, next time you are taking an overseas trip or becoming concerned about when your teenager is coming home with the car, remember that God is sovereign.  Whether you lose your job or get diagnosed with cancer, remember that God is sovereign.  Next time you lose a relative or lose some money or get a flat tire or get a speeding ticket – remember He is still sitting on His throne and paying close attention.  He is simply letting the law do what it does best… point to your need for grace.

Like a Grandmaster of chess, He allows us to make foolish, sinful moves.  He is never caught off guard with our poor decisions or their natural consequences.  He can even take the most sinister evil move and make good come out of it… eventually (Romans 8:28).  Sometimes He even lets us see that good end result this side of eternity.  Though He allows us to move some pieces the game will end exactly as He plans.  (Gotta read the Bible for that – I am not spoiling that spectacular ending here). And regardless how you may feel, at no point does He stop caring (I Peter 5:7).

God is in complete control of all areas of life and nothing comes across your desk unless it has first been approved at His desk above.

NOTHING.

In God’s world, “everything happens for a reason” – HIS reason.

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?  And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?  And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.   But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!   Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’   “For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:25-34

Whoever has ears…let them be plugged at church.

rodarters

There seems to be an unwritten rule about church music these days.  If you go to church, you’ll know what I’m talking about.  The rule is, stated simply, LOUDER is better.  More and more churches are offering contemporary services and more and more of them seem to have a secondary goal of bursting an eardrum.  I like contemporary music.  I’m a fan of loud music in certain places and at certain times.  I’m just not sure a church worship service is one of those places or times.

I hesitate to even mention the deafening noise of contemporary church music today as it brings back memories of my younger years when “old people” would claim my music was “too loud”.   “Too loud?,” I thought back then. “It’s not loud enough!”   Of course, my music was either blaring from my bedroom or car stereo – not from the sanctuary of my church.  Fast forward twenty some years and now I find myself complaining about the decibels.  (Did I just say complaining?  Didn’t I just write a blog about not doing that!)   Am I now an old person simply because I think the current generational music is too loud?  Or is it indeed too loud?  After all, I’m in my 40’s – not my 80’s!  It wasn’t until I saw my six year old cover his ears during the entire musical portion of a recent church service that I realized, this is a problem.

I do understand the need for loud music in certain venues, like an outdoor concert.   Or even an indoor concert.  Or if the entire audience is hearing impaired.  Or if you are in a nursing home.   I even understand the “need” for it to be loud in your car at times.  One could make a compelling argument on why Queen’s classic “Bohemian Rapsody” should not be played quietly.  Similarly, it would be wrong to listen to Tom Cochrane’s song, “Life is a highway” on volume setting three.  Sometimes you just have to “pump up the volume”.  I get that.   But at church – it seems that the loud music detracts away from the purpose of the assembly.  The lyrics should rise to heaven but does that mean the sound has to reach there too?

As I sat in a recent “worship concert” on a Sunday morning, several reasons came to me as to why the volume should be lowered.

  1. Loud music can damage hearing.  This is well documented.  If a child (or adult) feels the need to cover his ears in order to protect the precious gift of hearing, the volume is too loud.   I have noticed that most of the musicians wear earplugs.  Why?  Because even THEY recognize it’s dangerously loud.  Granted, they are a few feet closer to the speakers but in most churches, it doesn’t make that much of a difference.   Many times the music is so loud that I can actually feel the beat of the drums in my chest.
  2. The loud volume does not enhance the worship experience but rather distracts from it.  This certainly could be a subjective point, however, there is a beauty in contrast.  A good preacher does not scream his entire sermon – but rather uses a full range of inflection and volume to more effectively communicate his point.   At times he speaks in a normal tone of voice.  At other times he may whisper to emphasize a sentence.  Occasionally he may need to raise his voice to persuade his listeners.   The power of communication comes in the content being delivered in a variety of ways.  The music should employ similar tactics.  I’m not saying that music should never get loud.  The problem is that most contemporary church music seems to only have one volume – HIGH.  Everything is turned up so high that even their “quiet” stuff is loud.
  3. The rising cost of earplugs.  Ok, so earplugs aren’t really that expensive.  Regardless, many of these churches hand out earplugs prior to the service.  This amuses me.  By handing them out are they not admitting there is a problem?   That’s like handing out pillows before the sermon as if to say – “He’s boring, you’re going to need this.”   Why not just turn the volume down a few notches and save some money on the plugs?
  4. Loud music does not encourage people to sing.  Any musician should understand this as they normally have a feedback monitor on stage so they can hear how they sound.  When you cannot hear your own voice, you cannot gauge how well you are singing.  If the musicians have the need to hear themselves, shouldn’t the people also be afforded the same luxury?  I know that when the music is that loud, I stop trying to sing.  After all, if they wanted to hear my voice – they’d turn it down.  When I do try to sing with the music being so loud, I eventually lose my voice – literally.   Fortunately, no one really wants to hear my voice anyway.  Trust me on this one.  I truly make a “joyful noise.”
  5. Loud music does not create a reverent environment.  There is something reverent about quietness.  In many public venues in our culture, you show reverence by being quiet and still.  Funerals do not use rock music to celebrate a life – even when celebrating a rock star’s life!  You show reverence for the dead by being morbidly quiet.  Weddings do not blast heavy metal music to celebrate a marriage.  You show reverence for the couple by being quiet on their special day.  Graduation ceremonies do not use a heavy drum beat to congratulate a graduate.  You show reverence for the graduates by being boringly still.  In almost every important public venue, we recognize the need and appropriateness for silence and stillness.  Even the Bible communicates a need for this.  Jesus, by His own example, would repeatedly go “up on a mountainside by himself to pray.” (Matthew 14:23).  Psalm 46:10 tell us to “Be still and know that I am God.”  God is a God who communicates on the soul level.  In order to hear Him, you often have to quiet your soul to hear His “gentle voice”.  I’m not saying God can’t use a Christian rock concert to communicate to people – obviously, many Christian bands have an impact on thousands of people every year.  God can speak through a burning bush (Exodus 3), a sunset (Psalm 19) and has even spoken through an ass in the past (Numbers 22 and this blog as an example).   What I am saying that we can miss a precious, special connection when the noise drowns out His word.  Even the prophet Elijah, running for his life and desperate for a word from God, was hidden in a cave waiting to hear His voice.   We are told..

“Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.  Then a voice said to him…” (I Kings 19:11-13)

Maybe you need to hear from God today.   Maybe, like Elijah, you are desperate for some direction or instruction.  Try turning off the radio.  Muting the TV.   Pause the ipod.  Climb a mountain.  Or at least get away from the kids and friends.  Sit still and listen.  Open His book.  Read.  Meditate.  Pray.  Ask Him to show up.   Show Him (via your body language) that you are really interested in what He has to say.   Have your attitude be like the prophet Habakkuk, “I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; and I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me, and how I may reply when I am reproved.” – Habakkuk 2:1

If the God of the universe really had a message for you – personally – wouldn’t you want to hear it?   What if God was trying to talk to us most days and we simply couldn’t hear it because the noise of this world is just simply too loud – even if that noise is at church?

Just a thought…