Category: General

Friends and enemies

rodarters

What makes a friend a friend?  What makes an enemy an enemy?   What if your friend turned out to be your enemy?   What if your enemy turned out to be your friend?   Would you look at friendships differently?  If you were honest, I’m sure you would.  Would it make you wonder if all future enemies were perhaps not as bad as you originally judged?  Perhaps they are just delayed friendships?

If I asked you to name your closest friends, you would have no problem producing a list of names.  But is that list accurate?  Are they really your closest friends?  Why do you think they are?  Your answer would have to be connected to what you think makes a friend a friend.  Is a friend someone who likes you?  Someone who makes you laugh?  Someone who agrees with you?  Someone who says what you want to hear?   Isn’t that generally who we surround ourselves with?

If I asked you to name your enemies, hopefully that list would be a lot shorter.   I’m sure you would have no problem producing that list either.  We tend to know who is not a fan of ours.  But is that list accurate?  Are they really your enemy?   Why do you think they are?  Your answer would have to be connected to what you think makes an enemy an enemy.  Is an enemy someone who does not like you?  Someone who makes you angry?  Someone who disagrees with you?  Someone who says what you do not want to hear?   Isn’t that generally who we despise?

If I asked you to name Jesus’ closest friends, the disciples would be an obvious correct answer.  If you were biblically literate, you would specifically mention John or Peter as those two are found in His inner circle repeatedly throughout the gospels.  Extra points for knowing this!

If I asked you to name Jesus’ enemies, even if you were biblically illiterate you would obviously mention the devil and Judas, infamous for betraying Christ unto death.

But are your answers actually correct?   Was Peter really Jesus’ best friend?  Was Judas really His worst enemy?   It is easy to think so based on our elementary standard of what it means to be a friend or what it takes to be an enemy.  But would you believe that Jesus actually considered Peter (briefly) to be His enemy and even referred to Judas as His friend, even while  Judas was in the act of betraying Him? Either Jesus has no idea what a true friendship is, or our definition needs some work.

Peter had left everything to follow Jesus.  Literally everything.  For three entire years He had followed Jesus all over Jerusalem.  When they needed to cross the Sea of Galilee, they used Peter’s boat.  In those three years, Peter had spent many a night in prison as a result of his friendship with Jesus.  When Jesus predicted that someone would betray Him, Peter was the first person to stand up and publicly declare it would not be him.  When Jesus went to officially institute the Catholic (universal) Church, it was Peter to whom He turned and made it’s first Pope.  When Jesus was actually being arrested, Peter was the only one who drew his sword in an attempt to defend his friend.  If you had to guess, Peter would be an obvious nominee for Jesus’  “Friend of the year” Dundee award.  And yet, we find in this passage – Jesus’ assessment was quite different:

“From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem  and suffer many things  at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law,  and that he must be killed  and on the third day  be raised to life.  Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”  Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan!  You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” – Matthew 16:21-23

Three years of service and he calls his “friend” Satan and tells him to get lost.  Apparently Jesus needs some help in the Public Relations department.  This is NOT how most future kings are supposed to handle your supporters.

Judas, like Peter, was hand picked to be one of Jesus’ disciples.  Nine times in the Gospels  Judas is known and listed as “one of the twelve”.   In fact, so trusted was Judas in the inner circle that we are told he was the one who “had the money box”. (John 12:6)  In other words, He was Jesus’ accountant.  If there was to be a betrayal, no one would have suspected Judas.  Other than Jesus, who knew from the beginning, Judas would not have been on anyone’s betrayal radar.  That is the problem with betrayal though, it seems to always be the person you least expect.  Notice how Jesus treats the one who would be responsible for not only His arrest, but ultimately His death:

“While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.  Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.” Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.” – Matthew 26:47-50

Though He could have, Jesus did not stop the armed posse coming to arrest Him.  Though He could have, Jesus did not deny who He was.  Though He could have, Jesus could have given a few choice words to his soon-to-be-fired accountant.  He did not even stop Judas’ affectionate greeting – one that would eventually be known as “the kiss of death.”  In fact, in the midst of the worst betrayal known to man, Jesus actually calls him “Friend.”   Wow!

What makes a friend a friend?  What makes an enemy an enemy?   Is your standard of friendship the same as Christ’s?   For Him, His friends were those who helped Him accomplish what God put Him on earth to do.  His enemies were those who tried to stop Him from doing God’s will.   Who are your friends?  Do they encourage you in your relationship with God?  Do they challenge you to know Him better and love Him more?   Who are your enemies?  Do you need to reevaluate that list?

I’m grateful that I have some really good friends in my life – friends that ask me the hard questions.  Friends that question my motives.  Friends that call me out on certain behaviors.  Friends that hold me accountable for my lifestyle.  Friends that want to know how I am truly living – even when they aren’t there to see it.  Friends that do not care if I like them or not.  Friends that are willing to sacrifice the friendship for the sake of what is right.   Man, I hate the occasional interrogations I receive from these friends.  Some days they feel more like my enemies.  And then I realize that their kiss of death is exactly what I need.

As Oscar Wilde has noted, “True friends stab you in the front.”

How to climb a mountain

rodarters
Me at the top of one of the mountains (aka fells) in the Lake District of England.

I have climbed several mountains in my life.  Some of them were physical like Mount Katahdin in Maine or the Skiddaw fell in Keswick, England.  Other “mountains” I’ve climbed were more emotional or mental – but enormous just the same.  Both types were very real to me, the climber.   I have found that I enjoy climbing the mountains I choose to climb.  Ironically, those types are always physical.  The mountains I do not wish to climb have all been emotional or mental and I tend to procrastinate on every step.

I have come to learn that often times the physical things in this life point to deeper spiritual truths – if you have the eyes to see them.  I believe this is intentionally designed by God so we could better understand Him and His world.   He uses what we know to help us learn what we don’t.  He allows us to walk by sight before teaching us how to walk by faith.   He gives us a physical mountain to climb today so we can apply those principles to a coming emotional mountain tomorrow.   The size of the mountain is the most important thing to us.  The lessons we learn from the climb is what is most important to God.  We think about things like how long we will be on it.  His main concern is how well we learn the lessons.

As I have discovered first hand in my life, He has no shortage of mountains for me to climb.   Because of this, learning the lessons of the climb, suddenly, takes on a whole new importance to me.   Perhaps if I learn the lessons I’m supposed to on this mountain, the next mountain won’t feel so big or take so long.

Here is what I have learned (so far) in my vast experience as a seemingly perpetual “mountain” climber.  Maybe some of these truths will help you on your mountain, current or future.

  • Get started.   You can’t reach the summit until you have left the camp.  The camp is comfortable and easy.  The path to the summit is painful and difficult.  No one ever climbed a mountain sitting at base camp.   No one ever did anything significant from base camp.  It’s where we all begin but it’s not where we are supposed to stay.
This quote was hanging on the wall of the cafe I owned in Charlotte. It reminded me of the importance of getting started. (Visit “Quips Cafe Charlotte” on Facebook for more information.)
  • Mountain climbing is hard.   This seems elementary to mention but it is critical to remember.  It’s supposed to be hard.   It is supposed to take time.  You are supposed to sweat.   Know why?  BECAUSE IT IS A MOUNTAIN.  You will have to manage your pain and persevere through every step.  Understand that and expect a challenge.
  • Don’t let the size of the mountain overwhelm you.   When you are at base camp, looking at the summit can be daunting.  It seems so far away that you may begin to think you’ll never get there.  Its height can be so intimidating that you may wonder if you’ll ever make it to the top.  You must change your focus.  Instead of looking at the summit, set a closer more reasonable goal to reach first.   Divide the mountain into smaller sections and concentrate on the next section now.  On some of my emotional mountains, the summit seemed impossible to reach.  I had to walk “day by day” for months until the mountain became more managable to navigate.
  • Others have climbed this same mountain.   You have to remind yourself of this.  There is no physical mountain that has been left unclimbed.  And if someone else has made the ascent, so can you.   For the same reason, emotional mountains can be conquered too.   Whether your emotional mountain is recovering from a broken relationship, losing weight, getting out of debt, dealing with an addiction or struggling with the never ending mountain of finding a job – you can make the climb.  It might be trying to forgive someone who hurt you or harder yet, forgetting what they have done.  Maybe your mountain is trying to forgive yourself.  It won’t be easy – but climbing mountains never is.  You are not alone.  Take comfort in this fact with every step.
  • If possible, climb with a friend.  Mountain climbing is hard enough alone, if you can, have someone join you.  The advantages are many and barely need to be mentioned.  Having someone with you provides the following benefits: encouragement, companionship, motivation, accountability, assistance & memories – to name a few.   When you want to give up, your climbing friend can help you keep going.  When you are discouraged, a partner can encourage you to keep hiking.  When your backpack is too heavy to carry, your fellow sherpa can lighten your load for a season.   I guarantee there are many others on your same mountain right now.  Look around – find them and join them in their hike.
  • Embrace the mountain.   This may sound slightly sadistic but there is something magical that occurs when you embrace the mountain.   The only way you can overcome a fear of heights is to get on a ladder.  The only way to overcome a fear of snakes is to handle one.  Instead of avoiding or dreading your mountain, embrace it.  With mountain climbing, there is a strange comfort when you learn to take time to “smell the roses” on the trail.  Though the climb is difficult, there are still many blessings along the way.  They are, however, easy to miss if you’re not paying attention or too focused on the clouds to see the sun.   The easiest way to miss some of those blessings is to complain about your climb.  Remember, even when it’s raining the sun still shines.
  • The summit is worth the climb.   Ask any mountaineer who has reached the top.  In every mountain I have ever climbed, my body hurt like never before.  I was tired on every level.   And when I finally saw the view from the top – I immediately appreciated the cost of the climb.  It was TOTALLY worth it.  Ask any mother if the nine months of struggle was worth the experience of holding their precious child in their arms.   Ask Lebron James if his eight year climb to the top of his mountain was worth the blood, sweat and tears to reach the summit of World Championship.   If anything, the harder the climb the sweeter the view from the top.

Maybe your emotional mountain exists because you made some poor choices in your past.  Maybe your mountain was given to you because of someone else’s poor choices.  Perhaps it is no one’s fault and it’s just something you have to climb.

Get started.  Recognize it will be hard.  Don’t let the size of the mountain overwhelm you.  Remember, others have climbed it before you.  If you can, find someone to climb with.   While you are climbing, embrace the mountain.   The summit will be worth it, I promise.

The following verses in the book of Psalms helped me immensely as I have climbed (and continue to climb) my various mountains.   Perhaps they will encourage you as well on your journey.

“In God’s hands are the depths of the earth, the peaks of the mountains are His also.” – Psalm 95:4

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains.  Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven  and earth. He will not let your foot slip — he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord watches over you — the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” – Psalm 121

Happy Birthday to you!

rodarters

BIRTHDAY CARD DISCLAIMER:

Once a year, people feel compelled to congratulate you on reaching your birthday milestone.   Normally they share their well wishes via phone calls, emails, text messages, handwritten notes, flowers, chocolates, balloons, singing telegrams, etc.  

I, on the other hand, decided to write you a “Happy Birthday” blog.  This particular blog entry is dedicated to any friend of mine who will be celebrating a birthday sometime in the next year.  If today is not your birthday, then be patient.  Eventually, this blog will be relevant to you. 

Sure, I could have sojourned to the local CVS or supermarket and spent hours perusing overpriced, over-sentimental cards.  Then I could’ve signed my name to someone else’s idea of humor or sympathy (depending on your age).  But are you really deserving of such a card?  I mean, all you have done (since my last congratulations) is survived for another 365 days.  How hard is that?  Also, if I did the traditional card option, then I would need your address.  And a stamp.  And a pen.  Would you even appreciate the gas money I invested to and from the store?  Besides, who really wants to walk ALL THE WAY to the mailbox to retrieve a card that points out the glaring fact that you are OLD?  Basically, I am saving you time and what better gift is there than the gift of time?  I’m thoughtful like that. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU” FUN FACTS:

  • According to wikipedia.org, the melody of “Happy Birthday to You” comes from the song “Good Morning to All”, which was written and composed by siblings Patty & Mildred Hill in 1893.  The sisters created “Good Morning to All” as a song that would be easy to be sung by young children.
  • The 1998 Guinness Book of World Records reveals that the song “Happy Birthday to you” is the most recognized song in the English Language.
  • The song’s base lyrics have been translated into 18 languages.
  • Unauthorized public performances of the song are technically illegal unless royalties are paid to it.  This is why most restaurants (or other public party venues) have their own annoying original Birthday song or cheer in honor of the birthday celebrant.

GENERIC BIRTHDAY FUN FACTS:

  • February is the least common birth month.
  • August is the most common birth month.
  • October 5th is the most common birth date (Interestingly, it is exactly 9 months after New Year’s Eve.  Badda bing.)
  • May 22nd is the least common birth date (besides Leap Year – February 29th.)
  • Birthdays were usually only celebrated by nobility (which may be why we like to put a Birthday Crown on the birthday person) until the Germans began the practice of celebrating children’s birthdays called “kinderfeste” and bake a special sweet cake.

  • The picture above is of Tu Youyou, the first woman to win a Nobel Prize in medicine.  Also known as the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday too.   Try it, just for fun.  🙂
  • $27.2 Million – Most money spent on a birthday party.  This extravagant party was for the Sultan of Brunei’s 50th Birthday in 1996.  My 45th birthday celebration was a close second.

Speaking of expensive parties, did you know that there are two birthdays celebrated in the Bible?  Some interesting things happened at both….

Birthday #1: Pharaoh’s Birthday Party (Genesis 40):

At the first birthday party we find Joseph locked behind bars interpreting dreams for two men who used to serve in the King of Eygpt’s court.  One man was Pharaoh’s cupbearer.  The other was his baker.   Joseph correctly predicted that both men would have their “heads lifted up” by Pharaoh.   The cup-bearer’s head was lifted up and he was restored to his original office.  The baker’s head was also “lifted up” and placed in a noose and hung.  Nice party.  Try the veal.

Birthday #2: King Herod’s Birthday Party (Matthew 14):

At the second party we find John the Baptist bound and imprisoned at the request of Herodias, King Herod’s sister in law.  During the party, Herodias’ daughter was dancing (think dirty, not square) before the king.  The dance pleased King Herod so much that he promised (with an oath) to give the girl whatever she asked.  Having been prompted by her mother, she asked for the head of John the Baptist on a platter.  Odd request.  Most girls her age ask for earrings.  Sadly, she got her wish.

There are a couple of lessons for you here. 

On your special day…

  1. Avoid prison.
  2. Keep your dreams to yourself.
  3. Don’t party with kings.
  4. No dancing.

Blessings on your special day!

If the Apostle Paul had Facebook

rodarters

I am seeing a disturbing trend on Facebook and I don’t like it.  I recognize immediately that my opinion may not be a popular one, particularly with those who practice this trend – but in the land of free speech, my opinion still counts… and I think it’s still right.

What am I talking about?   The public shredding of ex girlfriends, ex-husbands, ex-employers and ex-friends on your Facebook wall.  In short, it works like this.  Someone wrongs you/crosses you/offends you/hurts you/disrespects you/steals from you/cheats on you/slanders you/gossips about you/or cuts you off in traffic and you, in turn, tell every friend of yours all about it.  In detail.  On your Facebook wall.

While it is true that you can virtually write whatever you want on your Facebook wall, it does not mean you should.   Granted, you may have been terribly wronged.  You may be justifiably angry.  You may have every right to be hurt, or upset or even furious.  Yes, lovers have been known to cheat.  Yes, ex-spouses can make life difficult.  Yes, employers can be jerks from time to time.  Yes, we all have friends that have made us angry or done things that hurt us.  But that does not mean you should broadcast their evils on your FB wall for all the world to see.  As it has been said, “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Allow me to share six reasons why you should keep your thoughts to yourself:

  1. Your rant is permanent.  Whether it’s a website entry or a Facebook wall – it’s there for good.  You may not realize this, but once you put something on the web, it’s on there forever – even after you delete it.  Think I’m kidding?  This article proves it: http://www.zdnet.com/blog/igeneration/facebook-does-not-erase-user-deleted-content/4808   You need to really think twice about what you post, particularly if it is offensive or mean – even if it’s true.  Today’s party picture can cost you tomorrow’s job or promotion.  Your angry wall rant could actually cause more damage than the harm done to you.
  2. It lacks class.  Class-less people hang their dirty laundry for all to see.  Class-less people rant and rave about the wrongs done to them.  Class-less people hold on to past offenses and make their bitterness public.  Jerry Springer made a whole TV show out of these types of people.   You were wronged, we get that.  Now, go to counseling or write in your journal or tell a close friend about it.  There is no need to share it publicly as the rest of us don’t really want to hear it in that forum.
  3. You have no idea (literally) who can see what you write.   You may think that only your friends can see it.  But if your comment makes it to my news feed, now all my friends can see it.  And they can share it with their friends.  And their friends can share it with their friends.   Within a matter of minutes, your mud slinging can be across the globe in front of God knows who.  It’s bad enough that your drama is on my doorstep.  Do you really want it travelling to other countries too?
  4. It sets a bad example.   Others read your post.  Others deal with difficult people who hurt them.  Others struggle with how to handle their anger/frustration.  Others look up to you.   They may think it a good idea to follow your example and do the same thing.   If I wanted to listen to negative junk, I’d turn on an episode of Cops or Hoarders or The Real Housewives of Whocaresville.   Isn’t there enough negative in this world?   Share the good.  Post the positive.  Tell a funny.  Make me smile.  I already want to cry and scream enough in my day without your help.
  5. You are not perfect.  Do you remember the last time you wronged someone?  Probably not.  Have you ever said or done something that hurt another person?  Probably.  Would you want it broadcast on the world wide web for all to see?  NO!  You say that your level of wrong was less than the wrong done to you?  I say that’s a weak argument.  One of the first things we are all taught growing up is to “treat people the way you want to be treated” (Matthew 7:12).   True, you were not treated the way you wanted.  But “an eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.” (Mahatma Ghandi)   Recognize that you have hurt others too and learn how to forgive.
  6. Most of the time when you post such things, the person you are talking about never sees it.   Mark Twain once said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”  Or as Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”   That’s the way it is with anger.  The hatred in you only consumes you – it never reaches them.   If you need to get it out of your system, go to the gym.  Or punch your pillow.   Or wash my car.  Or yodel.   Whatever you do –  don’t poison my well or wall in the process.

One last thing…

The Apostle Paul did not have an easy life, particularly as a Christian.   In II Corinthians 11 he summarizes his drama:

“I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea,  I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak?  Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?”

Has your day, week or life been harder than that?  

Paul wrote the book of Philippians from a Roman jail cell.  While he was a prisoner in less than humane conditions, he posted the following to his Facebook wall:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  (4:8)

Who doesn’t benefit from that kind of status update?

Testing 1,2,3

rodarters

In every grade of every year at school, it is required that you take a test.   Sometimes the test covers the material you studied in class that month.  Sometimes the test is cumulative and covers the entire marking period.  You are tested in every class at every grade and each passed test is the prerequisite to take the next one.  There are no shortage of tests, and every one affects not only your grade in that class but your overall grade point average (G.P.A.) in school.  So important are these test results that a college or university can accept or deny your application based on how well you score.

Even well beyond the k-12 educational system, you continue to be tested.  To drive a car, you must pass a test.  To play a sport, you must pass a physical exam.  To become a doctor or nurse, you must pass the boards.  To become a lawyer, you must pass the Bar.  To sell real estate or insurance, you must pass a test to obtain your license.   Today, most jobs even require you to pass a drug test for employment.

Most tests have the following attributes in common:

  • You know it’s a test.   You may not have had any advanced notice it was coming, but you certainly know it’s a test while you are taking it.
  • They are designed to test your knowledge of the material, level of understanding or degree of skill.  (Except in the case of a drug test.  They just want to see if you smoke the wacky weed.)
  • The test is for the teacher’s benefit – to see what you know.
  • The test is designed to be hard.
  • Test results matter.  How you score is important to the test giver.
  • Your future is often determined by the result of the test.

Most of us hate taking tests and it is one of the reasons we are glad we are no longer in the classroom.  Since a test always reveals what you know or how you perform, they can be extremely validating or utterly humiliating and for many of us, we just don’t like the pressure.   We take them because we have to – not because we want to.  The good news is, the older we get the less tests we have to take.   At least, that’s what we think…

Did you know that God offers His own set of tests?   Life is God’s classroom and He offers a test every day with a keen eye on the results.  There are, however, a few differences between His tests (below) and the ones we normally take (above):

  1. You rarely know it’s a test from God when you are in the middle of it.  Too many of us realize it was a test long after we failed it.  To you it feels like a long line at Walmart.  He’s merely testing your patience.  To you it is just an annoying co-worker.  He’s just testing your ability to love difficult people.  To you it is just being over-worked and under-thanked.  God may be testing your servant’s heart.   If we knew it was a test, we would make sure we were “on.”  God doesn’t want us “on” for a test and off when it’s finished.   He wants us “on” Friday nights AND Monday afternoons – not just on Sunday morning.  He wants us “on” at work and at home and while you are grocery shopping – not just when the preacher is looking.  His tests are daily and subtle so that we can’t possibly study or cheat.  We are normally so caught off guard when He delivers His test that often we can’t even detect it’s happening.   Because of this, the test results are pure.
  2. His tests are not designed to test your knowledge.  God does not care about your degree of skill as much as He cares about your motives.  He doesn’t want to know how many Bible verses you know.  He wants to see how many you obey.  His tests focus on your character and integrity.  They often occur when you are alone.  Man tests the mind.  God tests your heart.
  3. His tests are not for His benefit, but for yours.  He already knows what’s in your heart. He already knows how you are going to respond.  He already has your test score completed – long before you even took the test.  His tests are perfectly suited to you.  The test is for you to guage where you are and what you need to do to improve.
  4. Like other tests, His are designed to be hard.  Anyone can pass an easy test.  Easy tests do not prove what you are made of.  God has no desire to develop soft students.  He wants to raise up men and women who can pass hard tests, like Job.
  5. Like other tests, the results matter to God.  He is extremely interested in whether you pass or fail.  Like it or not, He linked His name to your test result.  If you fail, His name gets the “F.”   Just as a child’s behavior reflects on the parent, so our test results reflect on Him.  When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, God was gracious to forgive but one of the consequences was the loss of his child.  The reason?  Because “by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme.” (II Samuel 12).  In other words, David failed the test and God’s name was drug through the mud.  There is always a steep price for that level of failure.
  6. Like other tests, your future is often shaped by them.  Man’s tests are physical but God’s test are always spiritual.  Our tests can be passed by knowledge, intellect and studying.   God’s test can only be passed with things like prayer, faith, character, motives & integrity.  As a result, the stakes are higher.  If you fail a school test, you may fail the course or not graduate.  If you fail one of God’s tests, you could lose your job or family or reputation, or damage your character or worse.

I have failed too many tests in my day.   On one level, I do regret every “F” for who really likes to fail?  Some of my failures have really impacted other lives and that is hard to live with.  The truth is, there are more lessons in failures than success.  There are many days I wish I knew less.  On another level, though, I am grateful for my failures as they have taught me things that victory and success cannot.  I’d like to think I’ll never fail another test.  I have a feeling that’s not realistic.  My goal is to not make the same mistake twice.

testingPerhaps you have failed too many tests as well. Be encouraged for tomorrow is another exam.   Maybe you’ve even made the same mistake twice.   Or three times.  Regardless of how you did today, you can get a brand new grade tomorrow.  Recognize your failures.  Own them, and study where you went wrong.  Re-think how you would do the test differently, if given the opportunity.  Ask God for help.  Find someone to hold you accountable if you think you might fail again.    And be grateful for the lessons, no matter how big a price you paid for it.   God may use the lesson in your life to help others one day.  If nothing else, He is using today’s test to develop tomorrow’s faith.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature   and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4

 

“Crazy” street preachers

rodarters

As I was driving through town yesterday, I noticed a man preaching at the thousands of cars that passed him. Actually, I think he is preaching to the drivers but since it is summertime in the South everyone has their windows up and are enjoying their air conditioning.  Maybe that is why the street preacher is screaming his message – to get through the glass?

What is his message?  Well, the “sermon” seemed to have a judgment theme to it. At least, the 90 seconds I actually heard before the light turned green. A couple of thoughts entered my head has he preached to his moving congregation:

  • He has got to be hot.
  • I wonder what church he goes to?
  • Is he homeless and bored or independently wealthy and called to preach?
  • Is he expecting a response from us? If so, what kind?  Do we honk to agree or disagree?
  • When he gives the altar call, do our cars “come forward” in response or do we leave our vehicles to follow him?
  • How long does he stay at that corner?
  • Does he work other corners in our city? If so, where, what time?  (Why do I even care what his preaching schedule is???)
  • What’s his story?  Was he doing this at recess in grade school or is this a relative new gig for him?
  • Is he a whack-job?  I mean – he is preaching down the street from the mental assylum.
  • Why is there not a reality TV show about street preachers?  God knows we have a reality show about everything else!
  • Why do street preachers intrigue me?
  • Why aren’t street preachers ever shouting about the importance of tithing or keeping the Sabbath or fasting?  Why is it always about wrath?
  • Does God really call people to do this… on the street…in the South… in the summertime?
  • Does he eat locusts like John the Baptist?

All these thoughts run through my head in 90 seconds, while I am trying to listen to what he is saying.  He has either lost his mind or he has the mind of Christ.  Maybe he is my brother in Christ?   I mean – he does have a Bible and he reads it more than most Christians I know – even if he is shouting to passerbys who aren’t listening.

I do know he makes me uncomfortable – kind of like the homeless man.  You are drawn to look and yet you do not want to be caught looking. He caught me looking today. So, I waved.  I didn’t know what to do so I waved.  Now that I mention it, that seems like an awkward response.   He must of thought so too with the look that he gave me.  I don’t think many people wave at him with all their fingers in the upright position.

He made me think about the prophet Jonah who was a street preacher sent to the town of Ninevah.  God told him to preach a sermon of hellfire and brimstone to everyone he could.  I wonder what Ninevah thought of Jonah.  Fresh out of the belly of a whale, I’m sure he looked a lot like the homeless-looking street preachers we often see in our cities.

I wonder if some Ninevite man in a chariot ever waved at him?  If they ignored Jonah’s message, Ninevah would have been destroyed in 40 days.  God takes His warnings very seriously.  Fortunately for Ninevah, the people took heed of Jonah’s message and the entire city repented, all 120,000 of them.   To this day, it is still the largest recorded revival ever to occur.

Maybe I should listen to this street preacher’s message – all of it, not just the convenient 90 seconds because the light is red?  What if God sent him to that specific street corner with that specific message for those specific people?   Maybe I should stop and encourage another brother in the ministry?  I have a feeling he doesn’t get much encouragement.  Or maybe he is truly a whack-job and he escaped from the local hospital?   Most people probably think this man is crazy.  Then again, doing what God tells you to do can feel crazy for all of us (loving an enemy, praying for those who persecute you, turning the other cheek, walking by faith, etc)

I think I will say a prayer for him and for all the “crazy” street preachers I come in contact with.  I wonder what crazy thing God will tell me to do today.   I wonder if I will have the guts and faith to actually do it?

Moral of the story: Pray for the street preachers and roll down your windows. You might hear something that will challenge you… or worse yet – change you.   If nothing else, you just prayed for a guy who could use a prayer.

“For each time I speak, I cry aloud; I proclaim violence and destruction, because for me the word of the Lord has resulted in reproach and derision all day long. But if I say, ‘I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name,” then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot endure it.” – Jeremiah 20:8-9

How to help a hurting friend

rodarters

I have a close friend of mine who is hurting. Really hurting.  In fact, I seem to have several friends that are struggling on different levels.  Some are struggling physically with an ailment or a disease.  Many are struggling financially.  Most are struggling emotionally.   When times are hard, people are hurting.

When I think about someone who understands how painful life can be, I think of the biblical character named Job.   In the book that bears his name, we are told that Job was the “greatest of all the men of the east.”   He is married with ten children, extremely wealthy and described as “blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil.”   By all accounts, Job is a good man living a blessed life.   That is, until the sixth verse of chapter one when everything changes.

God initiated a conversation with Satan about Job and his many unique attributes, mentioned above.  Satan, being the accuser he is, argued that the only reason Job was “good” was because God was blessing him.  Take away the blessings (wealth & health) and Job would cease to be good.  To prove him wrong, God allows Satan to do whatever he wants to His servant, Job so long as he spares Job’s life.   What happens next is truly unbelievable.   Within a matter of minutes, Satan orchestrates four “freak accidents” that end up taking the lives of all his children and causing him to go bankrupt overnight.   To make matters worse, Satan eventually afflicts Job with painful boils all over his body, “from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.”  To relieve the suffering, Job “took a potsherd (broken piece of pottery) to scrape himself while he was sitting among the ashes.”  

Job went from being the greatest man in all the east to being the most miserable – in less than an hour.   On our worst day, none of us have ever had to endure such tragedy and pain.  Even Job’s wife encouraged him to “curse God and die.”   Nice comforting words from someone who is supposed to be your closest earthly friend. 

Job is now alone.   All his children are dead.  All their homes are destroyed.  All his livestock (and therefore his business) are gone.  He no longer has the support of his wife.  As a sign of mourning, he tore his robe, shaved his head and is now sitting in a pile of ashes.  And if that is not enough – he is in excruciating pain trying to deal with bloody, open wounds on his entire body.    Imagine the physical and emotional pain.  Imagine the loss!  Job is unaware that all of this is occurring because of an invisible divine dialogue.   All Job knows is he is hurting and struggling for hope.  Even in the midst of this, Job does not lose his faith in God.

Enter Job’s three friends; Eliphaz, Bildad & Zophar.  What these three men do is leave an example for us of what to do (chapter 2) and what not to do (chapters 4 to 37) when someone is hurting.   The passage is in italics.  The lessons are in bold.

Oil painting by Ilya Yefimovich-Repin – 1869

Job 2:11 – “When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.”

Lesson #1: The friends went to Job as soon as they heard he was hurting.  Do you do that?  Job’s friends did not wait for Job to be in a position to call for help.  Oftentimes, the people who are hurting can’t reach out for help.  The pain is too deep and the wounds are too sensitive.  They need for us to come to them.  Job’s friends went to Job.  Are you THAT kind of friend? 

Lesson #2: Their initial goal was sympathy and comfort, not advice.  Job did not need advice.  He did not need a sermon.  He did not need anyone to tell him why they thought God was allowing this.  He simply needed someone to be with him during his darkest hour offering silent support.  When his friends opened their mouth (chapters 4 to 37), Job lost his comfort and wavered in his faith.

Job 2:12 – “When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.”

Lesson #3: Job’s friends did not lose their kids.  His friends did not lose their jobs.  They were not in physical torment.   And yet, they joined Job in his suffering and communicated their solidarity with him.  If Job’s heart was breaking, so was theirs.   How well do you identify with the suffering of your friends – even if you have never experienced what they are going through?  Romans 12:15 says to “rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.”  The goal is to be compassionate and empathetic, regardless of someone’s situation.  Are you THAT kind of friend?

Job 2:13 – “Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights.   No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.”

Lesson #4: Job’s friends got on Job’s level and stayed with him for as long as they could.  The lesson is not where we physically sit.  The lesson is not staying for a week after each tragedy.  The principle is getting on the same level as your hurting friend and seeing them through the pain completely.   Throughout the Bible, the number seven is a number of completion.  It’s not the seven days that is important, it’s the fact that Job’s friends were communicating – “We are here for the long haul, Job.  We are here for you – regardless of how long this takes.”  Anyone can offer initial support.  Anyone can send a card or give a few bucks to assist.  But are you the “I will sit with you until your pain is relieved” type of friend?  When lives fall apart, it can get real messy.  It’s not easy loving a hurting friend.  Are you THAT kind of friend?

An update and a word of thanks…

(Three years ago, my world came crashing down.  In a matter of months, I lost virtually everything dear to me.  In those early days, there were only three things that kept me going; my faith in Christ, my family and a few close friends.  Though I had hundreds of friends, only a handful took the initiative to come to me, cry with me, “tear their robes” and stay until the situation improved.  A special thank you to my family and the following friends: Mike, Brady, Brian, Jonathan, Ken, Wendy, David & Ginger, Dawson & Kasey.  Without you, I would not have made it off my ash-heap.)

I am on my way to become WD-40

rodarters

No one likes to fail.  In fact, most of us do whatever we can to avoid it at all costs.   Winning feels good.  Losing is awful.

I love hearing stories of average people who failed over and over again prior to becoming “great”.

In the library of my Alma Mater there was a study room that I reserved weekly.  On all the walls and under a locked glass cabinet were some of the orginal letters and inventions of Thomas Edison.  During study breaks I would read and re-read the letters.  I would marvel at the pieces of history that changed our world.  I was able to study at night because of this man.  It is reported that Edison failed thousands of times  before he successfully created a working light bulb!  Thousands!!

Did you know…

  • Henry Ford went bankrupt five times before he successfully founded the Ford Motor Company and changed the auto industry forever.
  • R.H. Macy started seven failed businesses before finally becoming profitable with the department store that bears his name.
  • An engineer was turned down for a job by the Toyota Motor Corporation.  Discouraged, he began making scooters of his own at home eventually turning it into a billion dollar business.  His name?  Soichiro Honda.
  • Walt Disney was once fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”  Imagine that?
  • Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for tv.”
  • 27 different publishers rejected a children’s book entitled, To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.   The 28th publisher offered a contract and Theodor S. Giesel became a world renowned author.  You know him today as Dr. Seuss.
  • A recording company refused to sign on a new band named “The Beatles”.  They were told “we don’t like your sound, and guitar music is on the way out.”
  • Everyone knows Babe Ruth as a homerun king with 714 during his career.  Most do not realize that he also held the strikeout record for decades (1,330 in all).
  • One of the most powerful stories of failure comes from our 16th President, Abraham Lincoln.  He failed as a businessman and went bankrupt.  (It took him 17 years to repay that debt)  He failed as a farmer. He failed in his first attempt to obtain political office. He failed to get elected to Congress – TWICE.  He failed when he ran for the United States Senate – TWICE. He failed the nomination for the vice-presidency in 1856 (He received less than 100 votes). In the midst of all of these failures, his fiancee died and he suffered a total nervous breakdown, keeping him bedridden for 6 months. If anyone is acquainted with failure, it is Lincoln.  If anyone had a good excuse to give up, Abe did.  But he didn’t and as a result, he played an instrumental role in ending the war on slavery.

In 2012, when you hear the name Lincoln – you think success.  But if you heard that name in 1856, a different image would have emerged.   When you hear the name Ford, Oprah, Disney, Beattles, or Jordan – you think success.  But there was a time when their name was not synonymous with that.

What about your name?   Do others think “success” when they hear your name mentioned?  If not, it’s ok because your story is not finished yet.  Your success story may come tomorrow.  Or it may come four more failures from now.  Your only mission is to never give up.

The next time you are rejected, think of Lincoln.  The next time you are fired from a job, think of Oprah.  The next time your resume is overlooked, think of Honda.   The next time you are told you are not good enough, think of Jordan.  The next time you strike out with anything, think of Babe Ruth.   He walked away from home plate over 1,300 times – failing to get on base yet again.

I was doing a home improvement project recently and came across a nut I could not get unscrewed.  Though I tried and tried with my wrench, this little nut would not come undone.  I knew I needed some help to get it loosened and I knew of nothing better to use than some WD-40.   I learned that WD stands for water displacement.  The number 40, it turns out, stands for the number of tries it took for the product to become successful.   It is not known as WD-39 for a reason.

Today your name may be WD-39.    Or your critics may call you WD-5.   Your parents may think you are WD-16.   Even your spouse or children might think you are a mere WD-9.   Stop listening to those voices.  You have a mission and a passion and a calling and a dream and you need to go after it.  Don’t stop till you reach your goal.  The only difference between a dream and a goal?   A deadline.  Set a deadline for yourself and watch what happens.

“I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

Wonder Faith = Faith that makes you wonder.

rodarters

I was talking with a friend recently and he was describing a friend of ours as a “man of faith.”   I thought about that description and agreed, it was true.  But the more I thought about it the more I realized we are all people of faith.  Christians have faith in God.  Muslims have faith in Allah.  Miami has faith in Lebron.  Children have faith in their parents.  Even an athiest has faith…in himself.   Everyone has faith in someone or something.   Everyday we place our trust somewhere; people, chairs, vehicles, banks, dead-bolt locks, etc.   The question is not whether we have faith.  The real question is where do we place it?

God simplifies the discussion of faith.  From His perspective, you either have faith in Him (the Creator) or faith in His creation.  There is no middle ground.  Throughout the Bible, God calls His people to trust Him.   Throughout the Bible, they don’t.

Last summer my five year old and I were enjoying some time in the pool.   While he was standing on the side, I asked him to jump to me in the four foot section.  He refused.  I told him he was safe.  He refused.  I told him that I would catch him.  He refused.  I told him I would not let his head go under.  He refused.  I told him that the little girl over there does it all the time.  He refused.  I told him I would give him $1.00.  He refused.  I told him it would be fun.  He refused.  NOTHING I tried would convince him to do it.  Though he would not articulate it like this, it was obvious why he did not jump.  He simply did not trust me.   I was very frustrated, since I know my abilities.  I was also kind of hurt.  And then it hit me.   Every day, we communicate the same thing to God.

  • When we don’t tithe, we are telling Him we do not trust Him with our finances.
  • When we date people we shouldn’t, we are telling Him we do not trust Him with our relationships.
  • When we take revenge, we are telling Him we do not trust Him to handle the situation.
  • When we steal, we are telling Him we do not trust Him to provide.
  • When we indulge in our addictive behaviors, we are telling Him that we do not trust Him to handle our problems.

Throughout the Bible, God is constantly challenging us to trust Him.  Twice Jesus is recorded as being moved by our faith.

  1. In the first passage (Matthew 8), Jesus witnesses the faith of a Roman Centurion and is stunned by what He sees.   A Roman Centurion would NOT be someone anyone in Palestine would call a “man of faith.”   And yet, he was.   Instead of his faith being placed in Caesar, this centurion trusted Christ to heal his servant.   And Jesus noticed.  He always notices when our faith is placed in the right direction.   “Now when Jesus heard (the centurion’s faith), He marveled and said to those who were following, “Truly I say to you, I have not found such great faith with anyone in Israel.”   (Apparently the faith of this pagan centurion was greater than the faith of His disciples Peter, James & John.  That would make me marvel too.)
  2. In Mark 6, Jesus is spending time in His hometown of Nazareth.   While He was there, a discussion breaks out over His true identity.  “Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, and brother of James?”, they asked.  “Where did this man get these things“, they wondered.   Yes, He was a man.  But He was also God and those closest to Him couldn’t see it.   We are told that Jesus did not perform any miracles there.   As was His custom, He would never do a miracle for people who did not trust Him.  After all, He was not a dog and pony show.  He would not “throw His pearls before swine.”  Before He left HIS backyard, “He wondered at their unbelief.”

When God looks at my life, would my faith make Him marvel or just make Him wonder?   There are some areas of my life that I trust God alot.  If I am honest, there are other areas where I don’t trust Him at all.  It’s ludicrous, if you think about it.   I stand on the edge of His pool and I refuse to jump in.   I cling to all my worthless excuses as if they are legitimate.  I know He is able to catch me.  I know He has my best interests in mind.  I know that I won’t drown.  I know I would enjoy “life more abundantly” (John 10:10) if I took that leap of faith.  But I don’t.  I stand by the edge, even for years, wondering what would it be like to swim in His ocean of faith.

Where are you in relation to His pool?   Are you on the side of the pool as well?   What is He calling you to do?  Break up with that boyfriend?  Quit your job?  Start that business?  Make that phone call?  Write that letter?   Forgive that person?  Love that man?  Embrace your past?   Move to that state?  Marry that girl?  Give that money?  Go on that mission trip?  Downsize your house?   Pray that prayer?  Go to seminary?  Quit that habit?   Join that church?

Put simply, we either trust Him or we don’t.   He can marvel at our faith or wonder why we won’t trust Him.   There is no middle ground.  We are either standing on the edge or we are swimming in the pool.   I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being dry.

In my Bible, I have the following poem taped on the inside cover.  It is a constant reminder to me to trust God with my future:

“I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year, “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”  And he replied, “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God.  That shall be to you better than the light and safer than the known!”  So I went forth and finding the hand of God, trod gladly into the night.” – M. Louise Haskins

If you were to count every verse in the Bible and determine the exact middle verse – it would be this one: Psalm 118:8.   At the very center of His word, this is God’s message to us:

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

The church search

rodarters

I have been looking for a new church to attend.  It’s been quite the experience.   Though I have attended church all of my life, I find myself looking at the whole church search through a different set of lenses these days.  Whether it’s been the conservative Presbyterian church, the big Baptist church, the liberal Methodist church, the ultra-traditional Greek Orthodox church or the casually dressed “pastor on a screen” church – here are some random thoughts on my experience the last several months:

  • THE VISITOR PARKING SPACE.   This is great.  For anyone new to the church, it really makes it easy to know where to park.   Good job to the churches that have it.  What’s sad is that most of the time, I’m the only car in that spot on Sunday.   Minutes later, I realize why.
  • THE PARKING LOT GREETERS.   Some churches have men in orange vests directing you into the church parking lot like you would at a professional sporting event.  I’m waiting for them to charge me $10 to park.  Other churches don’t have anyone in the parking lot looking to help you.  I guess those churches don’t care whether you make it inside.  Or maybe they assume you’ll find the door, just like you would at the mall.  Personally, I like the greeters in the parking lot.  Who doesn’t want to be greeted with a friendly face as you enter a strange environment?
  • THE AT-THE-DOOR GREETERS.   Some churches have people stationed at the door to greet you.  They are generally pretty friendly.  Others let you get the door yourself.  Some have people ready to hand you a bulletin of some sort.  Other churches assume you are illiterate and just hope you listen real well.   Some in the front lobby actually approach you and try to make you feel welcome.  Others avoid you like the invisible person you are.  Most people do care that you are there, except for when they are ignoring you.   Kudos to the churches that have someone at the doors to greet.  If somehow you missed the greeting sniper in the parking lot, these door bouncers are sure to get you.
  • THE STAND-UP-AND-GREET SOMEONE NEAR YOU IN THE PEW.   Some churches, in the middle of their service, ask everyone to walk around and greet someone near you.  I find this aspect very disconcerting.  What should I say, (“May the force be with you?”)  How much time is allotted?  Am I greeting someone who just got over the flu?   Do I tell them my name only or my last big sin?  No matter how you slice it, it’s just an awkward time for visitors.  Can you imagine if, during the 7th inning stretch, the ballpark announcer asked you to leave your seat and greet someone you don’t know?  I mean, the mall doesn’t ask you to suspend shopping to greet nearby shoppers.  The grocery store does not ask you to bump carts with the nearest person and share recipes.   The reason churches do this, I think, is to make it easier on its members from actually doing the hard work of greeting someone new.  One Sunday, I did get hugged by three stranger women.  Granted, they were all over the age of seventy but hey, a hug is a hug.
  • THE OFFERING PLATE.   This is always an interesting dilemma for a visitor.  To give or not to give, that is the question.  It feels like a free car wash, without the soapy water.  If you do give, you feel super spiritual for putting something in the plate like all the saints around you.  If you do not give, you actually feel like the cheap sinner you are and NOW everyone else knows it.  You know the people near you are thinking, “Jeez, I bet he doesn’t even pay for his car wash either.”  
  • THE MUSIC.   For the contemporary churches – “deafening” is the new volume, it seems.   I thought it was loud because I am over 40 and all those years of rock concerts made me hard of hearing.   Nope.  When I took my six-year-old, he spent the entire service with the “hear no evil” posture.  It’s amusing to watch the reaction of people who think my son is boycotting church music.  I try to tell them that he’s just trying to stop the bleeding.  It’s futile.  They can’t hear me.  It’s often so loud that I can’t hear myself sing… so I don’t.  The musicians look at me and wonder why I’m not singing.  I think they’re offended.  It’s just hard to sing when the sound barrier is broken in my face.  They do provide free earplugs, which is nice.  Apparently, you shouldn’t wear them during the sermon.
  • THE SERMON.   Very interesting to see the different styles of preaching at each church.  One preacher taught through a passage of Scripture – verse by verse using illustrations.   Well done.  One pastor had the Bible in his hand the entire sermon but never opened it.  He told lots of stories and summarized the Bible’s teaching.  One man used a bunch of props and videos.  Very entertaining but I’m not sure what his point was.  I’m not sure he knew either.  Though the sanctuary was filled with a bunch of adults, one evangelist told a bunch of junior high style jokes like a comedian.   The only difference, he wasn’t funny.

You will never find a perfect church or a perfect church service.  18th century British pastor, Charles Spurgeon remarked, “The day we find the perfect church, it becomes imperfect the moment we join it.”   C.S. Lewis wrote, “The perfect church service would be one we were almost unaware of.  Our attention would have been on God.”  

A special word to my NON-CHURCH friends:   Go to church.  This Sunday.  Pick one and go.  If you don’t like the church you grew up with, pick another one.   Just as all food in the grocery store is not the same in content, quality or nutrition – so is the church.   Not every church teaches the Truth, as found in the Bible.  Not every church loves sinners, or even visitors for that matter – so find one that does.  But know this – just because people go to church or dress nicely does not mean they have their act together.  Most of them don’t.  You’ll fit right in.  Yes, the church is filled with hypocrites.  But don’t use that lame smoke-screen excuse to keep you from entering.  As preacher Billy Sunday once noted, “Hypocrites in the Church?  Yes, and they are in the lodge and in your home. Don’t hunt through the Church for a hypocrite. Go home and look in the mirror.  Hypocrites? Yes.  See that you make the number one less.” 

A special word to my CHURCH friends.   Look for visitors at your church.  Seek them out.  Greet them before you are told to by the pastor.  Find them in the parking lot and open the doors for them.  Some of them left their church and are looking for a new place to connect.  Others haven’t been in church in years and really need a word from God in these hard times.  You just never know if the person or family that just entered is going through a rough time in their life and needs a new Christian friend.  Some have messy lives.  Some are divorced or struggling with an addiction or just got out of prison.  They might smoke or drink or curse or look at porn.  Love them anyway.  They may not be in church because they feel unworthy to walk in.   Perhaps this Sunday they mustered up the courage to finally enter.  Let them find in you a compassionate person with a friendly demeanor.

Remember, you are simply a church beggar telling a visiting beggar where to find Bread.